1. Jurassic Park 4 has been indefinitely delayed
Don't take that helicopter to Isla Nublar just yet: Colin Treverrow's Jurassic Park 4, which was scheduled to start production June 20, has been delayed indefinitely. In a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, the studio said it wanted to give the filmmakers time "to bring audience the best possible version of the fourth installment," which we assume means they need more time to perfect the dinosaur cloning process. But look on the bright side, dino-fans: The first Jurassic Park was an adventure 65 million years in the making, so it's hard to begrudge Jurassic Park 4 a year or two more in development.
2. Everyone you love is going to be in Anchorman 2
If early casting reports are any indication, the upcoming sequel to 2004's beloved Will Ferrell comedy Anchorman has been staying very, very classy. In addition to previously announced roles for actors as varied as Harrison Ford, Kristen Wiig, and Liam Neeson, HyperVocal reports that 30 Rock's Tina Fey and Parks & Recreation's Amy Poehler have been spotted on set filming a fight scene with a mustachioed Sacha Baron Cohen. At the rate Anchorman 2 is casting universally adored icons of pop culture, fans can presumably look forward to next week, when we learn that Jennifer Lawrence, Grumpy Cat, and the entire cast of Arrested Development will appear in the film.
3. Disney isn't trying to trademark a national holiday anymore
It's easy to imagine the backlash if Coca-Cola tried to trademark Christmas, or Hallmark tried to trademark Valentine's Day. So when word broke that Disney was trying to trademark Dia de los Muertos, a Mexican holiday that's part of a tradition stretching back thousands of years, its celebrants were understandably miffed. But you can rest easy, everybody. According to Deadline, Disney has reportedly dropped its trademark filing — which was tied to an upcoming Day of the Dead-themed film — after dozens of bloggers called the company out for being totally insane. "It has since been determined that the title of the film will change, and therefore we are withdrawing our trademark filing," sniffed Disney in a statement, which is basically the corporate equivalent of packing up your toys and going home.
4. Nick Lachey doesn't like watching Newlyweds
As a rule, most divorced couples don't like watching home movies of their earlier marital bliss. But when it comes to former couple Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, who starred in the MTV reality series Newlyweds, it's a little harder to dodge them. "As you can imagine, that's not popular viewing in my house. We don't sit around as a family and watch the old DVDs," says Lachey in an interview with People. Lachey added that he hasn't talked to Simpson in years — which means, alas, that a follow-up series called Awkwardly Divorced is probably out of the question.
5. Warner Bros. is rebooting Dungeons & Dragons
In the mad rush to turn everything you might vaguely remember from the 1980s into a feature film, Warner Bros. has returned to the relative safety of tabletop role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons, which the studio hope you don't remember from its previous, roundly despised adaptation in 2000. Den of Geek reports that the reboot of the franchise will be written by David Leslie Johnson, whose previous films include Wrath of the Titans and Red Riding Hood — so just to be safe, you should probably stop being excited about it now.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Ted Cruz is the new Sarah Palin
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How liberals are unwittingly paving the way for the legalization of adult incest
- Watch out, China — America is working on dogfighting drones
- Why you probably don't have Ebola — even if you shook hands with America's 'patient zero'
- Fall film guide: All the movies you should see in October
- How the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover revealed the worst of both shows
- Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert are accidentally having a serious debate on ISIS
- The dumb war in Syria will haunt Democrats' 2014 prospects
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