Ignacio Marc Asperas of Melville, N.Y., has successfully patented his very-detailed snowman-making technique (see diagram, left). Asperas' 25-page application, entitled "Apparatus for Facilitating the Construction of a Snow Man/Woman," offers, among other things, advice on how to create a snowman's spherical body while avoiding unevenness that could result in a "big caboose." Asperas, who insists this isn't a joke, apparently has no plans to sue children who infringe on his new patent.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- How the South's ugly racial history is haunting ObamaCare
- The real story behind Deliver Us From Evil
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Beware of Splenda: The backlash against artificial sugars
- What if Leo Strauss was right?
- Stop making fun of philosophy and read some philosophy
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- If Democrats abandon immigration reform after Tuesday's likely loss, they will turn 2016 into a debacle
- The culture war finally comes to the Catholic Church
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