Results: As some companies adopt a “zero tolerance” policy toward gossip, office bluntness is being encouraged. We asked you for a remark we might overhear there. You put it to us this way:
FIRST PRIZE: The reason I don’t speak up at meetings anymore is that your body odor means I’m forced to breathe through my mouth.
Ellen Hunt, Calabasas, CA
SECOND PRIZE: Who do I have to sleep with to get your job?
Mary Hogan, New York City
THIRD PRIZE: Your old nose was better.
James Lucas Hepokoski, Syracuse, NY
You’re too fat to be wearing those pants!
Holly O’Shea, Frederick, MD
When will your bathing strike be over?
Nancy House, Nashville
Your breath could knock a buzzard off a manure wagon.
Reid Robash, Racine, WI
What makes you think I want to see your lunch while you’re chewing it?
Cathy Curtis, Finksburg, MD
You were the last one to use the bathroom but the soap is still dry.
Jeff Schoenwald, Thousand Oaks, CA
Leon, why is it always you? And always in a crowded elevator?
Amy Harr, Riverside, CT
Sam, we’re going to let Mary do this project so we lose less money in the long run.
Brian Rhoads, West Chester, OH
I haven’t cared about your personal life for the last 20 years.
Travix Tymoczko, Mechanicsburg, PA
Guess you forgot whose father is CEO?
Eric E. Wallace, Boise
Why did you unfriend me?
Bob Linfors, Miami
I know you’re a vegan and probably didn’t steal my roast beef sandwich from the fridge, but people do change, you know.
Judith Klein, Frisco, TX
Hey George, I see you and Sally have been eating lunch at the hotel up the street.
Gary Cullen, North Canton, OH
The boss says I can have your office after he fires you tomorrow.
Raymond Smith, Lynn, MA
I heard the boss saying you gossip too much.
Phyliss Shanken, Colmar, PA
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- The real story behind Deliver Us From Evil
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How the South's ugly racial history is haunting ObamaCare
- If Democrats abandon immigration reform after Tuesday's likely loss, they will turn 2016 into a debacle
- What if Leo Strauss was right?
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- The real story behind The Conjuring and four other horror movies 'based on a true story'
- Stop making fun of philosophy and read some philosophy
- Feast your eyes on this beautiful linguistic family tree
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
Subscribe to the Week