ith Barack Obama tied up by the battle for health-care reform, former President Bill Clinton filled his spot at Washington's annual Gridiron Dinner last weekend. Speaking to an audience of politicians and journalists, Clinton poked fun at the GOP, Obama, and himself. Here, a selection of his best wisecracks:
On his schedule: "I have been waiting to stand in for President Obama for a long time — and since they turned me down for Dancing With the Stars, I had nothing better to do."
On his protégé, Rahm Emanuel: "I found Rahm. I created him. I made him what he is today. I am so sorry."
On his economic record: "My only regret in creating 23 million new jobs is that 2 million of those jobs were for right-wing pundits."
On the final passage of health reform: "It may not happen in my lifetime — or Dick Cheney’s. But hopefully by Easter."
On Obama's method for getting the bill through: "I flew here from Cleveland. And I flew out of the Dennis Kucinich Airport."
... and his worst clunker ...
On speaking in Washington: "This feels like old times being here. Or maybe it's more like that movie Groundhog Day."
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Why China's Communist Party is headed for collapse
- How to make perfect fried rice in 6 easy steps
- Why the poor's investment of choice is so alarming
- Obama doesn't have a manhood problem — but conservatives certainly do
- He said he was leaving. She ignored him.
- Why Antonin Scalia was right to defend a drug dealer
- 31 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why we need a maximum wage
- Why atheism doesn't have the upper hand over religion
- Why we shouldn't be afraid to talk about 'Grandma' Hillary
Subscribe to the Week