Results: We asked you to come up with a friendly greeting that would nonetheless keep space aliens away. You beamed:
FIRST PRIZE: Visit Earth: We don't profile, we simply enforce existing federal law.
Mark Gibson, San Antonio, TX
SECOND PLACE: You are cordially invited to a COMPLIMENTARY DINNER following our Investment Seminar.
Peggy Harding, Palm Harbor, FL
THIRD PLACE: Hi! I'm Snooki and you're watching “Jersey Shore.”
Barbara Hoffman, Philadelphia
Hello from Planet Earth! Mention this message and receive a 10% discount on a Snuggie.
George Lloyd, Shrewsbury, MA
Ask us about Herbalife.
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA
Welcome Female Aliens!
This message sponsored by: Tiger Woods
John W. Stinson, Springfield, MO
Special mortgage rate available now to aliens: 1-Year ARM: 0% interest, 0% down, no credit report required!
Sandra J. Bond, Pittsburgh
You’ve been traveling for light years. Come in for your overdue colonoscopy.
Andrew Klein, M.D., Richmond, VA
All of us here at TMZ want to wish you a warm welcome.
Michael Rentzepis, Eau Claire, WI
Welcome to our planet! Enter through the giant hole in our ozone layer.
Shirley Larrick, Alexandria, VA
See? You wouldn’t want it anyway. (This message brought to you by BP, proud sponsors of the Alien Deterrent Initiative.)
Nora Stewart, New Haven, CT
Toll-free parking for the first twenty minutes.
Maggie Craddock, Plano, TX
Welcome to Earth: Home of the J. LO film festival.
Alan Parven, Commerce Twp., MI
852,456,321 Earthlings want to friend you on Facebook.
Kelly Haverkampf, Saint Germain, WI
Visit Earth to hear what Glenn Beck and Keith Olbermann have to say!
Ashley Ryan, Catonsville, MD
Home of the Whopper.
Jason Lee, Hudson, OH
Beware of 400 million dogs.
Steve Currie, Corning, NY
Gavin Ryan, Oakland, CA
Come back in a million years. It’ll be a lovely green space by then.
Rashaun Geter, Columbus, OH
Greetings! I am a Nigerian prince and I humbly invite you to Earth to assist my in a lucrative business.
Dallas Lea, Poughkeepsie, NY
Please excuse the mess.
Tanya Brehm, West Roxbury, MA
Come on...Wouldn’t it be funnier to take over a planet called Uranus?
J. R. Klein, Scarsdale, NY
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- The U.S. is about to sell weapons to Vietnam. That's bad news for China.
- Why is the Pentagon stuffing caves in Norway full of tanks?
- An open letter to #brands about Gamergate
- What the Middle Ages can tell us about the GOP's big charity myth
- 3 horrific inaccuracies in Homeland's depiction of Islamabad
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Gamergate has backfired spectacularly on its nincompoop perpetrators
- Did the media get Ferguson wrong?
- The real story behind Deliver Us From Evil
Subscribe to the Week