elcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: We asked you to come up with a proverb or piece of advice that some graduate somewhere can expect to hear as they leave the safety of college for the real world.
FIRST PRIZE: Socialize risk, privatize profits.
Betty Henry, Berkeley, CA
SECOND PLACE: It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the blame game.
Lori Allenbaugh, Bayfield, CO
THIRD PLACE: Never let anyone photograph you naked.
Culah J. Pellegrini, Newton, MA
You can have anything you want. Except a job.
Bethany Wheeling, Finksburg, MD
Learn to eat more possum.
Bob Hagle, Erie, PA
Never buy anything with a handle on it.
H.L. Harwell, Wimberley, TX
Never, never, never participate in a reality show.
Marcia Cooley, Burlington, MA
We screwed up. Now it’s your turn.
Lori Volpe, Port Washington, NY
When the going gets tough… Aghhhh!!!!!
David Appleman, Tewksbury, MA
Everything changes, except the cliché “Everything changes.”
Todd S. Hyatt, Auburn, MA
Follow your dreams – unless you majored in philosophy.
Michael Slawski, Fairfax, VA
Don’t invest the money your family gives you today.
Noam Buechler, Dix Hills, NY
Maybe you can go home again.
Elizabeth Arnold, So. Portland, ME
The world’s a clunker. Here are the keys.
Leticia Lyford-Pike, Baltimore
Graduation is a big f***in’ deal.
Nila and Doug Mill, Elkton, MD
Strive to obtain what your grandparents strove to rise above.
Mark Severin, Puyallup, WA
Oh, the places you’ll owe!
Betsy Frasier, Atlanta
Become Time’s “Man of the Year” – But In A Good Way
Pat Herr, Naperville, IL
When all else fails, play dead.
Marilyn Anderson, West Des Moines, IA
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- Watch The Daily Show mock Fox News' confused man-crush on Vladimir Putin
- Sorry Belle Knox, porn still oppresses women
- What the collapse of the Ming Dynasty can tell us about American decline
- Religious liberty should be a liberal value, too
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- Why is American internet so slow?
- Don't worry: World War III will almost certainly never happen
- 22 TV shows to watch in 2014
- The Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi dismantles another ObamaCare myth
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