Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: Al Qaeda is launching Inspire, an online, English-language magazine meant to lure Westerners to jihad. We asked you for a catchy cover line for a future issue. You converted us with:
FIRST PRIZE: The Sexiest Mujahedin Alive
Bill Dorner, Indianapolis, IN
SECOND PLACE: Fashion Faux Pas: Outfits You Wouldn’t Want to be Caught Dead In
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA
THIRD PLACE: What 72 Virgins Want: How to Please Women When You Reach Paradise
Eric Hancsak, Hudson, OH
Flatten America – And Your Abs!
Matt Jenkins, Dallas
Eco-Friendly Car Bombs
Les Shipley, Green Valley, AZ
Are You Detonating More but Enjoying it Less?
Rick Soule, South Lake Tahoe, CA
Flowered Vests: An Explosion of Color for Spring
Sharon Kornreich, Boca Raton, FL
100 Fun Things to Do While Visiting The Great Satan
Dawson Mills, Norfolk, VA
Is Your Beard Humble Enough? The Answer May Surprise You!
Bill Muse, Seattle
Thinner or Fatwa? Keep Those Extra Pounds Off!
John Clements, Brooklyn
Pakistan or Afghanistan: Who Has the Nicer Caves?
Steve Kaplan, St. Louis Park, MN
Bin Laden or Pelosi: Who’d You Rather Have a Beer With? Results of our Readers Poll
Mark Uhlig, Oakland Township, MI
The Swimsuit Edition: Beach Burka Beauties
Steve Bradley, Van Nuys, CA
Burka Beachwear: SPF 100!
Richard Christensen, Coldwater, MI
European Debt Crisis Solved! Stop Wasting Money Educating Women
Paul L. Walker, Athens, GA
Exclusive: Israeli BP Workers Responsible!
Jules Chabot, Frederick, MD
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Ted Cruz is the new Sarah Palin
- How liberals are unwittingly paving the way for the legalization of adult incest
- Watch out, China — America is working on dogfighting drones
- How the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover revealed the worst of both shows
- Fall film guide: All the movies you should see in October
- Why you probably don't have Ebola — even if you shook hands with America's 'patient zero'
- Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert are accidentally having a serious debate on ISIS
- You're reheating pizza wrong
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