elcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: We asked you to predict the next uniquely Californian law that state would pass. You declared that heretofore:
FIRST PRIZE: No one may live within 60 miles of their place of employment.
Beth Simon, Oakland, CA
SECOND PLACE: Upon criminal conviction, celebrities shall serve no more that 2 percent of their sentence.
Warren Scrivani, Raleigh, NC
THIRD PLACE: Three pre-nups and you’re out.
Tamsin & James Smith, San Francisco
It is illegal to arrive at any awards show in a car that is not all electric or a hybrid.
Steve Kaplan, St. Louis Park, MN
Vegan’s Law prohibits cruelty to vegetables.
Ed Post, Grand Haven, MI
Restaurants must weigh customers to determine if they qualify for high calorie meals.
Neal Gladstone, Corvallis, OR
Only vehicles with 35 mpg gas mileage or better may display environmental vanity plates and bumper stickers.
Margaret Graham, Fort Collins, CO
English is designated as the official language for all illegal drug transactions.
Otto Dreaming, Decorah, IA
Outlawed: Public demonstrations of low self-esteem.
Ellen Lowery, St. Paul, MN
Commencing next year, all surfboards must be equipped with a seatbelt.
John Mayer, Tucson, AZ
The Cougar Preservation Act provides for a refund of any state taxes paid on certain cosmetic surgeries.
Tom Heider, Maumee, OH
The California No Child Left Behind Act requires minimum competency in writing movie treatments.
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA
It shall henceforth be unlawful to question the political science expertise of any movie star or other purveyor of entertainment arts.
C. E. Case, Heber Springs, AR
Chihuahua’s heads cannot be sticking out of purses by more than 5 inches.
Natalie Larson, Wayzata, MN
California plastic surgeons are henceforth permitted to copyright their “work.’’
Paul Jacques, Los Angeles
It is illegal to marry a person of the opposite sex.
Jerome Radding, Laguna Woods, CA
It is illegal for an innocent bystander to prematurely end an exciting high speed police chase.
Ken Branco, Watertown, MA
Every theatergoer must also purchase the DVD of the movie at ticket window.
Frances Kakugawa, Sacramento, CA
Any actress refusing to appear topless in a film may and shall be banned from Hollywood.
Judith Klein, Frisco, TX
State government employees may take a two-month paid leave of absence to make a film.
Mark Uhlig, Oakland Township, MI
It is a misdemeanor to allow an avocado to reach expiration.
Chris Olson, Las Vegas
All candidates for governor must produce a birth certificate with at least five English words on it.
Edmund Conti, Raleigh NC
The term 'governator' is the official name of the head of state.
Charley Cohen, New York City
No girly-men within 500 feet of the beach.
Rosemary Geary, Tempe, AZ
Medical Methamphetamine is now legal (but only with a prescription).
Dickinson Gould, Charleston, WV
You must have at least one Academy Award to vote.
Ryan Krouse, Downers Grove, IL
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 7 ways to be the most interesting person in any room
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- 22 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why is American internet so slow?
- What the collapse of the Ming Dynasty can tell us about American decline
- Colorado’s new ‘drive high, get a DUI’ commercials are actually pretty clever
- Watch The Daily Show mock Fox News' confused man-crush on Vladimir Putin
- Ukraine's fraught relationship with Russia: A brief history
- Who are the real gay marriage bigots?
- Religious liberty should be a liberal value, too
Subscribe to the Week