Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: We asked you to predict a headline that would make Americans as happy as “Will & Kate to Wed” made folks in Britain, and you rolled out:
THE WINNER: Wall Street Infested with Bed Bugs
Robert Hogan, New York City
SECOND PLACE: Aliens Invade Earth, Eat Politicians, Pee Gasoline
Jim Topper, Turtle Creek, PA
THIRD PLACE: Greenspan Residence in Foreclosure
Rick Ostrander, Beaufort, SC
Brad and Jennifer Re-Unite
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC
"Gotcha!" Congress Admits Dem/GOP Bickering a "Joke"
Caleb Shreves, McCausland, IA
Al Qaeda Calls it Quits
Joe Snyder, West Grove, PA
Bin Laden Joins Facebook
Stan Gray, Brush, CO
China Outsources Jobs to U.S.
John Besnard, Irvine, CA
Campaign Advertising Outlawed
Ashley Ryan, Catonsville, MD
Dodgers Return to Brooklyn
Ed Hayes, Yuma, AZ
Oprah Agrees to One More Year
Rich Stanko, Omaha
Trump to Get Haircut on Live TV
Gary Hennion, New York City
Healthcare for All Elected Officials Expires Dec. 31
Tim Popp, Phillips, WI
McDonald's Makes McRib Permanent
Kerry Howe, Tempe, AZ
WikiLeaks Reveals Bristol Really Won "Dancing with the Stars"
Lesandre Barley & John Reilly, Running Springs, CA
Incontrovertible Proof Found: Wrestling is Fixed
Miles Klein, Frisco, TX
TV Hiring 5M Unemployed Americans for New Reality Show, "Junk Food Fantasy"
Pat Rauscher, Cortez, CO
Lucy Lets Charlie Brown Kick Football
Leslie O’Hara, Point Richmond, CA
Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- The 11 worst fast food restaurants in America
- I hate Ayn Rand — but here's why my fellow conservatives love her
- 7 things the world's happiest people do every day
- 7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to
- 10 things you need to know today: July 23, 2014
- Why are so many parents being arrested?
- The weird obsession that's ruining the GOP
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- Why America is duty bound to help Iraqi Christians
- A lesson for America from MH17: Don't arm the Syrian rebels
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