Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: We asked you to predict a headline that would make Americans as happy as “Will & Kate to Wed” made folks in Britain, and you rolled out:
THE WINNER: Wall Street Infested with Bed Bugs
Robert Hogan, New York City
SECOND PLACE: Aliens Invade Earth, Eat Politicians, Pee Gasoline
Jim Topper, Turtle Creek, PA
THIRD PLACE: Greenspan Residence in Foreclosure
Rick Ostrander, Beaufort, SC
Brad and Jennifer Re-Unite
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC
"Gotcha!" Congress Admits Dem/GOP Bickering a "Joke"
Caleb Shreves, McCausland, IA
Al Qaeda Calls it Quits
Joe Snyder, West Grove, PA
Bin Laden Joins Facebook
Stan Gray, Brush, CO
China Outsources Jobs to U.S.
John Besnard, Irvine, CA
Campaign Advertising Outlawed
Ashley Ryan, Catonsville, MD
Dodgers Return to Brooklyn
Ed Hayes, Yuma, AZ
Oprah Agrees to One More Year
Rich Stanko, Omaha
Trump to Get Haircut on Live TV
Gary Hennion, New York City
Healthcare for All Elected Officials Expires Dec. 31
Tim Popp, Phillips, WI
McDonald's Makes McRib Permanent
Kerry Howe, Tempe, AZ
WikiLeaks Reveals Bristol Really Won "Dancing with the Stars"
Lesandre Barley & John Reilly, Running Springs, CA
Incontrovertible Proof Found: Wrestling is Fixed
Miles Klein, Frisco, TX
TV Hiring 5M Unemployed Americans for New Reality Show, "Junk Food Fantasy"
Pat Rauscher, Cortez, CO
Lucy Lets Charlie Brown Kick Football
Leslie O’Hara, Point Richmond, CA
Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- What is driving the increasingly weird behavior of the polar jet stream?
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- How our botched understanding of 'science' ruins everything
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Christians have no moral rationale for spanking their children
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- Should you hope to die at 75? Absolutely not.
- The science of sex: 4 harsh truths about dating and mating
- Why America should team up with Bashar al-Assad's regime
- Stop hating on cyclists
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