he story: Breaking into the house was the easy part for a suspected burglar in Portland, Ore. The hard part was getting back out. The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom, showering, when the homeowner returned, apparently unexpectedly. With two German shepherds at his side, the resident asked the intruder what he was doing in the house. Chapek then locked himself in the bathroom and called 911, afraid the homeowner might have a gun, according to Portland police. When officers arrived, they arrested Chapek.
The reaction: File this one in the folder marked "stupid criminals," says Doug Mataconis at Outside the Beltway. Even in America, which practically invented boneheaded crimes, calling the cops on yourself is one for the books. Well, Portland has more than its share of liberals, says Maggie at Weasel Zippers, so it's not really shocking that it also has "antiwar peace-loving criminals." As it turns out, the homeowner was not armed, says Katla McGlynn at The Huffington Post, just scared — she dialed 911, too. Sounds like this bungling burglar should find a new line of work.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Why is American internet so slow?
- 7 ways to be the most interesting person in any room
- Colorado’s new ‘drive high, get a DUI’ commercials are actually pretty clever
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- What the collapse of the Ming Dynasty can tell us about American decline
- Who are the real gay marriage bigots?
- Ukraine's fraught relationship with Russia: A brief history
- 10 things you need to know today: March 9, 2014
- 22 TV shows to watch in 2014
- This energy source could solve all of our problems — so why is no one talking about it?
Subscribe to the Week