fter weeks of bizarre behavior, during which Charlie Sheen filed a $100 million lawsuit against CBS and introduced Americans to the quaint phrase "tiger blood," it seemed inevitable that the "Two and a Half Men" star and his former network would go their separate ways. But could the almighty dollar reunite them? According to a RadarOnline.com report, CBS executives are "ready, willing, and able to forgive and forget all of Sheen's recent antics" (most recently he smooched late-night host Jimmy Kimmel on the air), and reinstall him on TV's top-rated comedy. But given Sheen's history of drug use, the rants he flung at show creator Chuck Lorre, and his much-debated psychological issues, would CBS be wise to rehire him?
Why not? Sheen is a cash cow: "In Hollywood, money wins every time," says a source close to the show, quoted by Hollywood Life. Given their checkered history, Lorre and Sheen probably won't become friends, but "they will be civil enough to get the job done." In the entertainment industry, "you deal and work with a lot of jerks." Grotesque insults are all in a day's work.
"CBS wants Charlie Sheen back & Charlie is ready to return to 'Two and a Half Men!'"
CBS does have experience dealing with Sheen's crazy side: Rehiring Sheen would put an end to the massive lawsuit the star filed, says Dorothy Pomerantz at Forbes, and get a show that earns $2.9 million an episode back on the air. And it's not as if CBS hasn't previously coped with Sheen's personal problems, from "run-ins with the police" to "accusations of domestic violence." His problems may be worse now, but network executives "knew what they were getting when they hired Sheen."
"Is Charlie Sheen getting his job back?"
But it would be so awkward... and embarrassing: "Not only is Charlie Sheen probably impossible to insure right now," he's defamed his bosses in every possible way and sued them for conspiring against him, says Brian Moylan at Defamer. Talk about a "toxic work environment." The network "took a stand when they fired [Sheen]," and if they hire him back, they’ll look like a bunch of foolish jerks who'll do anything to make money.
"Charlie Sheen may have a job again"
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 31 TV shows to watch in 2014
- He said he was leaving. She ignored him.
- Why atheism doesn't have the upper hand over religion
- 14 wonderful words with no English equivalent
- Wounded in Boston, two brothers endure
- If a nuclear bomb exploded in downtown Washington, what should you do?
- How conservatives learned to hate Hollywood
- Why Easter is so important to Christians
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- The Democrats have a mega-donor problem
Subscribe to the Week