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The Week contest: Bible Update - May 6, 2011
The Danish Bible Society has just published a modernized version of the Good Book with more than 1,500 edits. Rewrite a famous sentence or phrase from the Bible in modern lingo
 
A new version of the Bible edits out such controversial words as "shy."
A new version of the Bible edits out such controversial words as "shy."
CC BY: Steve Snodgrass

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for results of last week's contest: Trump Slogan

Results: The Danish Bible Society just published a version of the Good Book with more than 1,500 modernizations, including substituting "shy" for "meek," and "lucky" for "blessed." We asked you to translate a famous phrase from the Bible into current lingo, and thou e-maileth:

THE WINNER: My God, my God! Why have you unfriended me?
Jean MacKay Jackson, Tulsa, OK
 
SECOND PLACE: … do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because the Lord is the babydaddy
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA
 
THIRD PLACE: And on the seventh day, He chilled
Edward Gerecs, Pembroke Pines, FL

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Jesus :(
Meredith Granieri, Ventnor, NJ

Genesis 1:1 -- Bang!
Pastor Terence D. McLean, Alpha, OH

And while they were in the field, Cain unfriended Abel
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC
 
In the beginning, God created the hardware and the software
Deborah Halter, Decatur, GA

And Adam replied to the Lord, "I've changed my Facebook status to naked and hiding."
Ashley Ryan, Catonsville, MD

Go forth and do the math
Mike Maurer, Charleston, IL

And for 40 years the mothers told their children, "Yes, it's manna for dinner AGAIN"
Les Ackland, Oakdale, PA

The Top 10 Do's and Don'ts
Craig VanMetre, Bartlett, IL

Thou shalt not misappropriate
Bill Zisek, Houston

No schtupping on the side
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA

An iPhone for an iPhone
Lea-Anne Jackson, Decatur, GA

Judge not, lest ye be voted off
Angela James, Westminster, MD

Give props to the Lord.
Jim Siergey, Chicago

For God so loved the world, He didn’t send a committee
Robert Kimble, Roswell, GA

 

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