Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: A South Carolina man charged with assault appeared in court a tattoo on his forehead reading, “Please forgive me if I say or do anything stupid.’’ So we asked for another all-purpose excuse people might permanently affix to their bodies.
THE WINNER: If you knew my parents, you'd understand
Tom Sheppard, Flat Rock, NC
SECOND PLACE: I was banking on The Rapture
Keith VanTubergen, Grand Haven, MI
THIRD PLACE: Forgive me for not finishing anything I
Mike Paul Carrboro, NC
I've been meaning to do that. I've just been so busy!
Colby Seibold, Vancouver, WA
Surely there's someone else who’s responsible for my actions
Thomas R. Collins, Seneca, SC
It seemed like a good idea at the time
Frank Ledone, Lombard, IL
Hey, I didn't know anyone was looking
Susan Turi, Ormond Beach, FL
This doesn't usually happen
Noah Williams, Portland, ME
Look what you made me do
Cyndi Taylor, Peoria, AZ
How was I supposed to know?
John Haynes, Chapel Hill, NC
Just about to enter rehab.
Lesley Kleinman, Los Angeles
Sorry I'm late!
Bob Anderson, Lacey, WA
That wasn't me. It was the dog.
Andy Collias, Phoenix
Please excuse all cell phone-related accidents and annoyances
David Howe, Nampa, ID
Go ahead. I can hear you and text at the same time.
David C. Neal, Fanwood, NJ
Shayna Tivona, Washington, DC
Whatever I say, don't do it
Arlette Rosen, Huntington, NH
It’s all Bush's fault.
Susan Zivich, Munster, IN
Chuck Case, Santa Fe, NM
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- How academia's liberal bias is killing social science
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Hey, bosses: Stop giving bonuses to your employees
- Why the Sony hack changes everything
- Why torture doesn't work: A definitive guide
- 10 things you need to know today: December 18, 2014
- What the media gets wrong about Jeb Bush
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Vox, derp, and the intellectual stagnation of the left
- Capitalism isn't a cure-all for Cuba
Subscribe to the Week