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The Week contest: Pretentious Title - June 3, 2011
The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide to Capitalism and Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures is a new play by Tony Kushner … and one of the longest titles around. Come up with an even more pretentious title for a Broadway show
 
Playwright Tony Kushner attends the opening of his play "The Intelligent Homosexual's Guide."
Playwright Tony Kushner attends the opening of his play "The Intelligent Homosexual's Guide."
Walter McBride/Corbis

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for results of last week's contest: Sorry Tattoo

Results: In light of the new Tony Kushner play, “The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide to Capitalism and Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures,” we asked you to come up with an even more pretentious name for a Broadway show.

THE WINNER: Kant, Wittgenstein, and Jung Walk into a Bistro
Edward Gordon, Austin, TX
 
SECOND PLACE: The Thermodynamic Molecular Physics of Chance Collides with the Quantum Particle Accelerator of Love: A Five-Night Musical Whimsy
Mark Miller, Los Angeles
 
THIRD PLACE: If You Have to Ask What the Ticket Price Is, Go See a Movie
Larry & Luann Bonier, Jamestown, RI
 
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
 
Tony K. Is Alive and Gay and Living So Much Better than You in New York
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

A Comedy Someone Will Have to Explain to You
Angela James, Westminster, MD
 
Romeo & Juliet Without Vampires or Werewolves
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC

The Habitually-Correct Liberal Whose Arms were Just Right to Argue with God and Rule the Universe and Critique Proust
Christina Heinsman, Whitestone, NY

The Unending Struggle to Maintain Emotional Equilibrium after Discovering One’s Life Has Been Spent with an Unsuitable Loofa
Clayton Schulz, Louisville, KY

The Quintessentially Urbane Metrosexual’s Journey (Portrayed in Song, Dance and Spectacle) from Parochialism to Enlightenment
Frank Letchworth, Knoxville, TN

The Story of a Salesman Who Dies, But Only in a Dramatic Sense – Hey, Pay Attention
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC

It’s All About Me (and I Don’t Mean YOU!)
Keith R. Patterson, Sanford, ME

The Penis Chronicles Meet that Other Play to Discuss Mutual Interests
Jack J. Pranther, Hendersonville, NC

The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide to Capitalism and Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures: The Epic Sequel
Michael D’Amato, Edison, NJ

The Spread of Effect of the Aesthetics of Pseudo-Dionysius, Translated from Learned Greek into Incomprehensible English. (The first part of that actually IS the title of my doctoral dissertation. Google it!)
Dr. Laurence J. James, Comins, MI

 

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