elcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Results: After Rep. Anthony Weiner demonstrated once again how Twitter and texting can be hazardous to people with poor impulse control, we asked you to come up with a one-sentence Surgeon General’s warning for these modes of communication.
THE WINNER: Warning: If you send it, you may have to defend it.
Nancy Ball, Elkridge, MD
SECOND PLACE: Caution: Texting may be hazardous to your stealth.
Dorothy Garrett, Monmouth, OR
THIRD PLACE: May not be suitable for men who have a penis.
Monica Hake, Chicago
Sexual tweets may result in headaches, nausea, and diarrhea.
Robert Peffers, San Antonio, TX
Prolonged exposure could result in prolonged exposure.
Greg Brent, Colorado Springs, CO
Caution: Social media is a proven gateway to real media.
Brendan Egan, San Francisco
All web browsers must zip trousers.
Richard Wylde, Florence, MA
Caution: Tweets may make idiots appear as big as they really are.
Nancy Owen-Farrell, Kennett Square, PA
If you're naked and tweeting, you'd better be a bluebird.
Judith Cottrill, The Bronx
Think twice. Tweet once.
John Besnard, Irvine, CA
You are what you tweet.
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA
A moment on the thumb, a lifetime feeling dumb.
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC
CAUTION: This product is not a replacement for real friends.
Kyle Silver, East Brunswick, NJ
CAUTION: Excessive tweeting may lead to sexual discomfort.
Rodney Clements, La Verne, CA
STDs (Socially Transmitted Data) can be hazardous to your well-being.
Kip Sturdevan, Encinitas, Ca. 92024
WARNING: Improper Twittering May Cause Unwanted Tittering!
Al Jones, Bluffton, SC
Unprotected tweets can lead to career-ending viruses.
Michael S. Davis, Saint Francis, WI
You May Already Be A Weiner!
Pat Marriott, Wilmington NC
For your safety, please make sure that your lens cap is firmly in
place before taking any pictures you wish to send to the opposite sex.
Nikhil Schneider, Bellaire TX
Anything you tweet can & will be used against you in the court of public opinion. And your mother will find out.
Jeff Schafran, Albany, NY
Sexting penis pictures may cause loss of election.
Lisa Thiel, Chandler, AZ
Oversexed? Please don't text.
Bill Bryant, Alexandria, VA
Engage brain before activating the share button.
Angela Lynn, Charlottesville, VA
Do not use while under the influence of delusions of grandeur.
Thomas J. Lackaye, Astoria, NY
Post no thrills.
Rob James, San Francisco, CA
- The 10 worst-reviewed movies of 2013
- Watch The Daily Show mock the NSA and the gamers they're spying on
- 10 things you need to know today: December 10, 2013
- Diagnosing the Home Alone burglars' injuries: A professional weighs in
- The secrets of happy families
- Jupiter Ascending: Watch the latest sci-fi trailer from the creators of The Matrix
- Americans are wealthier than ever*
- 7 enduring lessons from It's a Wonderful Life
- President Obama snapped a selfie during Nelson Mandela's memorial service
- This is the twistiest tongue twister ever, says science
Subscribe to the Week