Though today's parents are obsessed with their children's happiness, says therapist (and mother) Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic, that may well turn them into unhappy adults. By refusing to let kids fail or feel pain, we're preventing them from growing up, leaving them "empty, confused, and anxious." Parents should back off, Gottlieb says, because kids raised to think they're "entitled to a perfect life" are bound to wind up disappointed. Is she right?
Some parents do need to relax: Gottlieb's right, says Anna North at Jezebel. Parents should stop "freaking out" about trying to be perfect. The "hyper-coddling modern parent" is cranking out kids who are unequipped to deal with the real world. We all need to remember, and accept, that there are "some things you just can't control. And trying to control them often causes more harm than good."
"Marry Him author Lori Gottlieb has surprisingly sane take on parenting"
Good parents aren't the problem: It's "open season" on the so-called "helicopter parent," says Adele Horin at The Sydney Morning Herald, especially those who "commit the unpardonable sin of boosting their child's self-esteem by praising work that may not be first-class." Sure, smothering parents can rob their kids of initiative and independence, but let's maintain some perspective: Truly cruel, neglectful, or exploitative moms and dads are the real "parenting sinners." Kids whose parents "err on the side of kindness" should count themselves lucky.
"Helicopter parents under attack"
The trick is striking a balance: Pumping up a kid's self-esteem has its place, says Keith Magill at Houma Today. "I remember how wonderful it felt to be coddled by my mom or dad as a kid." But in the workplace, I've also seen young adults fall "to pieces when a boss or coworker offers constructive criticism," because they had always been assured they were perfect. So don't go too hard on your kids, but don't sugarcoat everything either. The path to happiness lies somewhere in between.
"The pursuit of happiness"
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Here's the schedule very successful people follow every day
- A gay Mormon's complicated journey
- Why you should really take a nap this afternoon, according to science
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- The biggest lesson Obama failed to learn from Bush
- 7 things the world's happiest people do every day
- Why you shouldn't eat dog. Not even once.
- How social conservatives became a minority in need of protection
- This Indian meal service is so efficient it's the envy of FedEx
- House hunting: 7 beautiful homes in Georgia
Subscribe to the Week