Funnily enough, self-proclaimed vampire Lyle Monroe Bensley doesn't look 500 years old.

Galveston Police Department

he video: Lyle Monroe Bensley, 19, was arrested in his boxer shorts after he allegedly broke into the Galveston, Texas, home of a randomly chosen single woman, growled and hissed at her, dragged her down the hall, and tried to bite her on her neck. She escaped and was given refuge in a neighbor's car. When the police arrested Bensley a short time later, he told them he was a 500-year-old vampire. "He was begging us to restrain him because he didn't want to kill us," says Galveston officer Daniel Erickson. "He said he needed to feed." (Watch a news report of the incident below)

The reaction: It's pretty clear Bensley "has watched too many of those Twilight movies," says Mark Berman in Opposing Views. Or possibly overdosed on HBO's True Blood. Why else would this apparently sober, un-drugged teenager go all vampire on a woman, much less the cops? Well, "just look at those brooding eyes and sparkly skin!" says Seth Abramovitch in Gawker. Maybe he's who he claims to be.   That's technically impossible, says John Nova Lomax in the Houston Press. "Where was his cape?" And why didn't this "Neck-Tattooed Nosferatu" turn to dust in daylight? Anticlimactically, it seems Bensley is just another "weird" and "wild-eyed kid" on the wrong side of the law. Judge for yourself: