onservatives are endlessly amused by President Obama's frequent use of a teleprompter. They've even christened it: Teleprompter of the United States (TOTUS). So it was like comedy manna from heaven for the Right when news broke Tuesday that thieves had (at least temporarily) nabbed a truck carrying Obama's teleprompter and $200,000 worth of audio equipment outside a Virginia hotel where an advance team was preparing for a presidential visit. Here, some of the quippier quips:
The nation mourns you, TOTUS
"Early word out of MSNBC suggests all boom mics will remain at half-staff as our nation attempts to deal with this tragic development," says Dan Riehl at Riehl World View.
"At this time, nothing about the teleprompter thief or thieves is known," says Doug Powers at Michelle Malkin's blog. But word is "that police are on the lookout for anybody who can't stop saying, 'Pass this jobs bill.'"
"The commander-in-chief should start preparing notecards, just in case," says Aaron Morrissey at DCist. "Or, if none are available, just use a giant hand."
"Let us all together contemplate the sheer horror of a president who for a small window of time was under threat of having to read off some paper," says Kirsten Boyd Johnson at Wonkette. Or, you know, "rent another Teleprompter possibly not as nice as the official one. Pretty ugly stuff."
How bad could a Teleprompter-less Obama be?
Conan O'Brien imagines (watch video clip below):
- How does chocolate milk stack up as a sports drink?
- Diagnosing the Home Alone burglars' injuries: A professional weighs in
- Cul-de-sacs are killing America
- The 10 worst-reviewed movies of 2013
- Why Republicans shouldn't get too excited over Obama's stumbles
- The last racial taboo
- How did Love Actually become so controversial? A theory
- 10 things you need to know today: December 11, 2013
- 7 enduring lessons from It's a Wonderful Life
- TIME chose Pope Francis as its Person of the Year. And it was the perfect choice for the Upworthy era.
Subscribe to the Week