onservatives are endlessly amused by President Obama's frequent use of a teleprompter. They've even christened it: Teleprompter of the United States (TOTUS). So it was like comedy manna from heaven for the Right when news broke Tuesday that thieves had (at least temporarily) nabbed a truck carrying Obama's teleprompter and $200,000 worth of audio equipment outside a Virginia hotel where an advance team was preparing for a presidential visit. Here, some of the quippier quips:
The nation mourns you, TOTUS
"Early word out of MSNBC suggests all boom mics will remain at half-staff as our nation attempts to deal with this tragic development," says Dan Riehl at Riehl World View.
"At this time, nothing about the teleprompter thief or thieves is known," says Doug Powers at Michelle Malkin's blog. But word is "that police are on the lookout for anybody who can't stop saying, 'Pass this jobs bill.'"
"The commander-in-chief should start preparing notecards, just in case," says Aaron Morrissey at DCist. "Or, if none are available, just use a giant hand."
"Let us all together contemplate the sheer horror of a president who for a small window of time was under threat of having to read off some paper," says Kirsten Boyd Johnson at Wonkette. Or, you know, "rent another Teleprompter possibly not as nice as the official one. Pretty ugly stuff."
How bad could a Teleprompter-less Obama be?
Conan O'Brien imagines (watch video clip below):
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 31 TV shows to watch in 2014
- The sexual politics of Game of Thrones just got enormously worse
- The hidden reason for the student loan crisis
- He said he was leaving. She ignored him.
- Why atheism doesn't have the upper hand over religion
- 14 wonderful words with no English equivalent
- Wounded in Boston, two brothers endure
- Mad Men recap: 'A Day's Work'
- If a nuclear bomb exploded in downtown Washington, what should you do?
- 7 ways to quickly become a master at anything
Subscribe to the Week