Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: The Transportation Security Administration has fired a baggage screener who, after finding a vibrator in an air passenger's luggage, left a sarcastic note saying, "Get your freak on girl." What note might the TSA leave after searching through your luggage?
THE WINNER: The 70s want your ties back.
Dan Biewener, San Francisco, CA
SECOND PLACE: Here’s ten bucks. Go buy some new socks.
Herman Waltzer, Alabaster, AL
THIRD PLACE: Left the gun, took the canoli.
Mike Carrig, Big Canoe, GA
You were carrying this same book when you came through 6 months ago!
Tom Riley, Palo Alto, CA
Got your tweezers again!
Bill Harriot, Fairfax, VA
Thanks for making our jobs that much more disgusting.
Michael Slawski, Fairfax, VA
If this is your good stuff I'd hate to see the rest of your wardrobe.
Robbie Moore, Hixson TN.
I see you believe in the pitchfork style of packing.
James Lister Smith, Mill Valley, CA
I thought we were about the same size but your bathing suit doesn’t fit right.
Mike Paul, Carrboro, NC
Rich Barton, New Paltz, NY
If this is your vacation, then your life must be extra lame.
Michael McClure II, Belleville, IL
You’re going to a costume party?
Harrison Stephens, Claremont, CA
Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, WI
Everything I needed to know about you I learned from reading your t-shirt quotes.
Amy Torchinsky, Greensboro, NC
Your marijuana has been confiscated.
David Nash, Belfair, WA
Learn how to travel light!
Marie Mahorner, New Orleans, LA
I’m glad your bag didn’t have bedbugs like the last bag I handled.
William D. Boye, Gladstone, NJ
Get yer nerd on, boy!
Mark Carlson, La Conner, WA
I have one for every day of the week too.
Susan S. Shimokawa, Honolulu, HI
Please don’t wear those Speedos.
Bradley Dressler, Herndon, VA
Really, this is the underwear you chose to travel with?
Rusty Nichols, San Diego, CA
You know that secret compartment where you hid that money? It’s not that secret.
Edmund Conti, Raleigh NC
In your luggage as I peek / I see you subscribe to The Week.
A J Miedusiewski, Monkton, MD
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- The 11 worst fast food restaurants in America
- 7 things the world's happiest people do every day
- 7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to
- 5 tricks to making a mind-blowing burger
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- Why are so many parents being arrested?
- What if The Purge was real?
- 9 things you probably didn't know about the moon
- Why America is duty bound to help Iraqi Christians
- WATCH: Australia's army chief demonstrates how you address sex abuse
Subscribe to the Week