Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's contest: Sales of craft beers such as Sweetwater Happy Ending Imperial Stout and Wasatch Polygamy Porter (from Utah) jumped 13 percent last year. Given the soaring prospects for microbrews, we asked you to concoct the most pretentious name for a beer ever.
THE WINNER: Vermont Mountain Lakes Shade-Grown Double-Hopped Not Quite Pale Ale
TM Flynn, Lyndon Center, VT
SECOND PLACE: Rachel's Enviro-Friendly Wheat-Free Wheat Beer
Gary Hennion, New York, NY
THIRD PLACE: Horst Anderwaggen's Premium Sauerkraut Stout
John Kirby, Chattanooga, TN
Carry My Bags Porter
Joe Adiletta, Cambridge, MA
Cannes de Bière
Paul Kazee, Schenectady, NY
Linda Manuel, Stockton, NJ
Bob Welch, Minnetonka, MN
Miles, Charlie & Dizzy's Favorite Brew
Ron Sahatjian, Lexington, MA
Ivy Leaguer Lager
Angela James, Westminster, MD
Summa Cum Lager
Ginny Lord, Oconomowoc, WI
Roni Rork, Humboldt, MA
Paul Witte, New Hope, PA
Bob Scheibel, Woodland Hills, CA
David Carpenter, North Hills, CA
Et Tu, Brewtus?
Emily Cooper, Hillsborough, NC
Pitcher of Dorian Gray
Tim Edgerton, Sonora, CA
You Pale in Comparison Ale
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA
Brood in Obscurity
Megan Lyons, Sarasota, FL
Believe in Bain Beer
Esther Fishman, San Francisco, CA
Barb Pollyea, La Mesa, CA
Bud Light Unobtanium
Duncan Seagle, Seattle, WA
The Mother of the King of Beers
Gary Klein, Pleasantville, NY
Janet E. Stafford, Oklahoma City, OK
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- In Ferguson, Michael Brown lost his life — and America's police lost the benefit of the doubt
- Is it now OK to have sex with animals?
- 7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to
- In defense of Gwyneth Paltrow
- Alien conspiracy theorists think the government is on the verge of spilling big secrets
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Republicans love this new health care plan. Too bad it's basically a tax cut for the rich.
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- Chuck Hagel wasn't the problem. It's America's addiction to endless war.
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