Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: The National Zoo in Washington, D.C., grossed out some fans when it live-tweeted the artificial insemination of its grand panda, Mei Xiang, describing the procedure in detail. We asked you to come up with the next (printable) live tweet sure to make groaning followers say: "Too much information."
THE WINNER: Now nursing my 4-year-old.
Darrell Chalstrom, South Bend, IN
SECOND PLACE: Been more than 4 hrs but I'm afraid to go to the doc!
John Lynn, Pittsburgh, PA
THIRD PLACE: Watching my grandparents play Twister at the nudist retirement home.
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA
Placenta is very chewy.
Angela James, Westminster, MD
The embryo has latched onto the uterine wall!
John C. Squires, Rye, NH
It seems this last step has given the panda a loose stomach.
Daniel Salamon, Inwood, NY
All polyps benign. Bringing them home in a jar.
John Besnard, Irvine, CA
Join me as doctor reverses my vasectomy!
Roy Lasris, Seaford, VA
Fm space stn: Backed up lav @ zero grav! Those ain't no Baby Ruth bars!
Curt Pagan, Rancho Mirage, CA
Elephant laxative treatments finally producing results.
Mike Winning, San Ramon, CA
Chip Christian, Basking Ridge, NJ
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Watch out, China — America is working on dogfighting drones
- How liberals are unwittingly paving the way for the legalization of adult incest
- Why America won't have enough money to battle ISIS
- Why the Chinese military is only a paper dragon
- The troubling persistence of eugenicist thought in modern America
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover revealed the worst of both shows
- 11 facts yü should know about the umlaut
- Libertarianism's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea
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