Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: The National Zoo in Washington, D.C., grossed out some fans when it live-tweeted the artificial insemination of its grand panda, Mei Xiang, describing the procedure in detail. We asked you to come up with the next (printable) live tweet sure to make groaning followers say: "Too much information."
THE WINNER: Now nursing my 4-year-old.
Darrell Chalstrom, South Bend, IN
SECOND PLACE: Been more than 4 hrs but I'm afraid to go to the doc!
John Lynn, Pittsburgh, PA
THIRD PLACE: Watching my grandparents play Twister at the nudist retirement home.
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA
Placenta is very chewy.
Angela James, Westminster, MD
The embryo has latched onto the uterine wall!
John C. Squires, Rye, NH
It seems this last step has given the panda a loose stomach.
Daniel Salamon, Inwood, NY
All polyps benign. Bringing them home in a jar.
John Besnard, Irvine, CA
Join me as doctor reverses my vasectomy!
Roy Lasris, Seaford, VA
Fm space stn: Backed up lav @ zero grav! Those ain't no Baby Ruth bars!
Curt Pagan, Rancho Mirage, CA
Elephant laxative treatments finally producing results.
Mike Winning, San Ramon, CA
Chip Christian, Basking Ridge, NJ
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- After Ferguson: Stop deferring to the cops
- How to adopt the perfect rescue dog
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why the poor can't catch a break on Thanksgiving
- Ferguson riots were terrible — but this racist reaction was worse
- Obama just kneecapped Jeb Bush and Chris Christie's 2016 prospects
- 10 things you need to know today: November 27, 2014
- How to stop Black Thursday — and still score that big screen
- The hilarious hypocrisy of Republicans complaining about the imperial presidency
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
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