Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: The National Zoo in Washington, D.C., grossed out some fans when it live-tweeted the artificial insemination of its grand panda, Mei Xiang, describing the procedure in detail. We asked you to come up with the next (printable) live tweet sure to make groaning followers say: "Too much information."
THE WINNER: Now nursing my 4-year-old.
Darrell Chalstrom, South Bend, IN
SECOND PLACE: Been more than 4 hrs but I'm afraid to go to the doc!
John Lynn, Pittsburgh, PA
THIRD PLACE: Watching my grandparents play Twister at the nudist retirement home.
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA
Placenta is very chewy.
Angela James, Westminster, MD
The embryo has latched onto the uterine wall!
John C. Squires, Rye, NH
It seems this last step has given the panda a loose stomach.
Daniel Salamon, Inwood, NY
All polyps benign. Bringing them home in a jar.
John Besnard, Irvine, CA
Join me as doctor reverses my vasectomy!
Roy Lasris, Seaford, VA
Fm space stn: Backed up lav @ zero grav! Those ain't no Baby Ruth bars!
Curt Pagan, Rancho Mirage, CA
Elephant laxative treatments finally producing results.
Mike Winning, San Ramon, CA
Chip Christian, Basking Ridge, NJ
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Syrian women know how to defeat ISIS
- 3 horrific inaccuracies in Homeland's depiction of Islamabad
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- The U.S. Marines are developing laser weapons. Here's why.
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- The one thing the New Atheists get right about religion
- Will Kobani be ISIS's Waterloo?
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- 5 baffling foreign-language versions of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song
- How to make corn dogs
Subscribe to the Week