Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
THE WINNER: Why is the approval rating of Congress so low and its re-election rate so high?
Barbara James, Bedford, MA
SECOND PLACE: When a man is looking for something, why must a woman find it for him?
Judy Graves, Sarasota, FL
THIRD PLACE: How is Keith Richards still alive?
Alan Parven, Commerce Twp., MI
Why do most bags of Burger King onion rings contain exactly one French fry?
Dallas Lea, Poughkeepsie, NY
What the hell is this LNP charge on my phone bill?
David Levin, Edgewater, MD
Why is leaving the toilet seat up so bad?
Russ Morton, Eagle River, AK
Why can't 10 out of 10 doctors agree on anything?
Ed Zimney, Bainbridge Island, WA
Why is "i" before "e," except after "c"?
Steve Etzel, Putnam, CT
What makes the traffic lights turn red when you are late?
Gilly, Delray Beach, FL
Why does everything taste like chicken?
Jay C. Lacke, PhD, Worcester, MA
How does a thermos know which beverage to keep cold and which to keep hot?
Ken Carlson, Columbia, MO
Why didn't they wear seatbelts on the S.S. Enterprise?
Jeanne Buttimer, Northbrook, IL
How fast must a dryer spin to create the extra sock?
Don Stichter, Green Valley, AZ
How do you fold a fitted sheet?
Phil Melroy, Cherry Hill, NJ
What is the meaning of the "Hotel California" song?
Carter Wood, Chelsea, AL
When do you use "whom"?
William Bernsau, Jacksonville, FL
How does Darth Vader choke people from so far away?
Julianne Downing, Citrus Heights, CA
Is it "bison" or "buffalo"?
Michael D. Whitehead, Brighton, MI
Where should we go to have lunch?
Beverly Roberts, Houston, TX
What are all the extra buttons on my remote for?
Mark Phillips, Kettering, OH
If it's called "common sense," how come nobody has it?
Bruce Kent, San Diego, CA
Why do tennis players fall on their backs when they win a Grand Slam tournament?
Don Taylor, Alexandria, VA
Why am I always in the slow line at the check-out?
Vivian Lindgren, Hutchinson, KS
Why are 90 percent of the supermarket register lanes closed?
Anantha Krishna, Corbin, KY
Forest Brown, Fullerton, CA
Why can't we all just get along?
John Rice, Pacifica, CA
The Kardashians: Why?
Raymond Smith, Lynn, MA
Who wants to buy a slightly used $15 billion particle accelerator?
Bill Ralston, Billercia, MA
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- After Ferguson: Stop deferring to the cops
- Ferguson riots were terrible — but this racist reaction was worse
- The hilarious hypocrisy of Republicans complaining about the imperial presidency
- Don't argue about politics this Thanksgiving. Just don't.
- In Ferguson, Michael Brown lost his life — and America's police lost the benefit of the doubt
- Is it now OK to have sex with animals?
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- 7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to
- Hey, scolds: Stop telling us to enjoy a healthy Thanksgiving
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
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