Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois has apparently been invaded by the rare Amazonian pacu fish, a cousin to the pirahana known for biting off men's testicles. We asked you to please come up with a (printable) new tourist slogan for the lake.
THE WINNER: Lake Lou Yaeger: Where hanging out is an adventure!
Pamela Transue, Tacoma, WA
SECOND PLACE: Lake Lou Yaeger: Your junk is our treasure!
Ed Zimney, Bainbridge Island, WA
THIRD PLACE: Lake Louise Yaeger — For a Change
Ed Hicks, Oconomowoc, WI
Visit Lake Lou Yaeger — See What You're Missing
Paul Dinkelmeyer, Louisville, CO
What happens in Lake Lou Yaeger stays in Lake Lou Yaeger.
David C. Neal, Fanwood, NJ
End of Summer Special: Bring a member and get half off.
Kim Bridges, Richmond, VA
Bankers swim free!
Samuel Reifler, Rhinebeck, NY
Calling all nuts!
Sarah White, Scarsdale, NY
Where privates go AWOL
Steve Buckley, Elon, NC
Not for members only
Margaret Hardwick, Granite Bay, CA
Come for the vacation, leave with a castration!
Steve Kwiatkowski, Ann Arbor, MI
Loch Full o' Nuts
Julio Suarez, Plano, TX
John Gangemi, Merrimac, MA
And you thought leaving your heart in San Francisco was a big deal.
Wilbur L. Seymour, Sandia Park, NM
Lake Lou Yaeger is not for lovers.
Steve Horowitz, Hollywood, FL
Lake Lou Yaeger: Your getaway to the high C's
David Bortin, Whittier, CA
Lake Lou Yaeger: Fly fishing gone wild!
David Butterfield, Ketchum, ID
Lake Lou Yaeger: Where the fish are jumpin'…and so will you
Jennifer J. Hagan, Palo Alto, CA
Lake Lou Yaeger : Finishing what your ex-wife started
Nick Beauregard, Webster, MA
Experience the Affordable Health Care Act birth control special!
Mark Weaver, Redondo Beach, CA
Our fish are NOT allergic to nuts!
Christine Frumen, Long Beach, CA
Gentlemen: Swim at your own bris.
John L. Tunnell, Wichita Falls, TX
The worst day at our lake is better than the best day at the office…mostly.
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA
Half off on all poles.
Robert Harris, Gainesville, VA
Where you're guaranteed a nibble!
Tony Frasco, Spearsville, KS
Where the wildlife really grab your attention!
Larry Carpenter, Franklin, TN
We don't want fishermen with good taste, we want fishermen who taste good!
Zelig Kaplan, S. Louis Park, MN
Get yourself fixed on Route 66!
Barbara Hartman, Springfield, IL
Bring your tackle…and don't leave without it!
Fiona Walters, Jupiter, FL
Package Deals Available
Al Hoel, Brattleboro, VT
World's largest collection of family jewels!
Marty Beaudet, Damascus, OR
We'll remove your junk.
Karen Ennis, Breinigsville, PA
Visit our lake and get your rocks off!
David Krepchin, Las Vegas, NV
Come for the annual Testicle Festival!
Floyd Murphy, Orem, UT
The fish are biting!
Gary Hennion, New York, NY
Ask your doctor if swimming in Lake Lou Yaeger is right for you.
Robert S. Humitz, Commerce, MI
Honey, I forgive you. Should we swim?
Amy Springer, Red Cloud, NE
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- Why you should stop believing in evolution
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- 9 Harvard dropouts who became fabulously successful
- How China sparked an Asian frenzy for killer submarines
- The dangers of our passionless American life
- What is Molly? Everything you need to know about the party drug
- The real reason conservatives should be outraged that police killed a white youth
- The next pandemic
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