Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: A New Jersey homeowner put up a sign on his lawn reading, "House for sale by owner because my neighbor's an a—hole." We asked you what truthful (but tasteful) for-sale sign would you put up in front of your home?
THE WINNER: House for sale before adult children try to move back in.
SJ Southwick, Keene, NH
SECOND PLACE: House for sale because I looked at my iPhone more than at her
Jon Goranson ,Ringgold, GA
THIRD PLACE: House for sale by owner: We paid more than you will
Susan Board, Deep River, CT
Cottage for Sale: Great for Getting Started or Near Death
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY
Cinderella's Dream House! Must love mice.
Susan Winslow, Barre, VT
Drug dealer next door sent to prison. Live here care-free for 7 to 10 years!
Andrea Noble, Medford, OH
House for sale by owner because love for sale next door
Myra Gamburg, Lake Forest Park, WA
FSBO. Neighbor to the right: Wells Fargo. Neighbor to the left: Bank of America
Cass Hopkins, Cincinnati, OH
Lowell Grant, Fruitland, ID
Eco-friendly Garbage Disposal! (Woodchuck living in root cellar)
Ross Eckler, Morristown, NJ
Pet lover's special: berserk pit-bull next door
(True! Damn dog chased me up a ladder!)
Bill Bernsau, Jacksonville, FL
Lovely home on golf course. The balls are free.
Larry bishop, Indio, CA
No security system needed! (Neighbors always watching.)
Nancy House, Nashville, TN
House for Sale: Huge discount to ogres
Steven Frank, Johnson City, TN
House for sale, because that’s easier than cleaning at this point
Andrew Caldwell, Farmington, NM
House for RENT (I want to move back when old grouch next door dies)
Rita McHugh, Tucker, GA
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…
Charles & Mary Parry, Catonsville, MD
With neighbors like mine, who needs cable?
Kevin Gillogly, Thousand Oaks, CA
Termite Farm. Hurry! Won't Last.
Ray Homer, TK
House for sale, foreclosed-on family not included
Justin & Marissa Fay, San Jose, CA
Old house in need of young buyers
Suzan Moore, Clinton, TX
Swamp House for Sale. West Nile Season is Almost Over!
Paul Carroll, Garland, TX
House for sale by wife — maybe your husband can finish building the porch
Jean Bartels, Clintonville, WI
Buy this House and Help Our Divorce Attorney
Paul Witte, New Hope, PA
Great neighborhood with cheap drugs only 200 ft from our doorstep
Bob Lucas, Kelso, WA
Newly renovated money pit
Jackie Ross, Marietta, GA
Charming 3-bedroom tear-down, partially completed during recent fire
Rich Herbst, West Chester, PA
Selling my house before the bank beats me to it.
Taylor Jenkinson, West Lafayette, IN
For Sale: House with Detached In-Law Unit (In-laws included)
Barbara Watson, Albuquerque, NM
For Sale: American Dream. Old hippie dropping out…again
Thomas R. Pappin, Fairfield, IA
House for Sale: Too many slumdogs, not enough millionaires
Martin Schreiber, Irving, TX
If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for you
Mike Peterson, Des Moines, IA
Must move! Neighbor steals The Week, leaves Newsweek
Ed Hayes, Yuma, AZ
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- The U.S. Marines are developing laser weapons. Here's why.
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Why the Supreme Court is allowing Texas to hold an unconstitutional election
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- 3 horrific inaccuracies in Homeland's depiction of Islamabad
- How 1,000-year lifespans could remake the economy
- Ban PowerPoint!
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- Gamergate has backfired spectacularly on its nincompoop perpetrators
- The uncomfortable truth in The Giving Tree
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