1. Adele "allegedly" had a baby on Friday
It seems extremely likely that British crooner Adele has gone from "Rolling in the Deep" to rolling in the diapers, says the San Francisco Chronicle: The singer has allegedly become a mother for the first time after the alleged birth of her son (with partner Simon Konecki) on Friday night. Though numerous unnamed sources have confirmed the alleged birth, Adele's spokesperson stubbornly insisted, "We are not releasing a statement at this time," thereby forcing gossip columnists to write "alleged" a bunch of times.
2. Jay-Z and Beyonce are denied a trademark on "Blue Ivy"
Jay-Z and Beyonce liked their baby's name, "Blue Ivy," enough to try to trademark it — but a judge has said no, reports E! Online. The couple filed the trademark claim in response to a Boston company called Blue Ivy Events, which, despite its fiendishly misleading name, is not being run by their nine-month-old daughter.
3. George Clooney unenthusiastically sings "Sweet Caroline" with Neil Diamond
If George Clooney's recent "Sweet Caroline" duet with Neil Diamond at Los Angeles' 26th Annual Carousel of Hope is any indication, the actor/director/producer shouldn't quit any of his several day jobs. In a video available at Entertainment Weekly, the tuxedo-clad Clooney contributes little to the duet, muttering "so good, so good," a few times and appearing visibly bored — no doubt busy mentally planning yet another week of hobnobbing and jet-setting.
4. Pippa Middleton addresses worldwide obsession with her "bottom"
In her upcoming book, Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends, Pippa Middleton tackles her unexpected brush with fame after her sister's royal wedding: "It's a bit startling to achieve global recognition (if that's the right word) before the age of 30, on account of your sister, your brother-in-law, and your bottom," she writes with impressive, classically British understatement. "Pippa Middleton: Why am I famous?" asks The Christian Science Monitor, ignoring these three equally valid reasons.
5. Taylor Swift acknowledges long-term relationship (with her cat)
Taylor Swift has worked her way through a number of men, but there's only one cat for her. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Swift spoke passionately about her cat Meredith — named after a Grey's Anatomy heroine — calling their bond "the one long-term relationship I've had." As such, it is the only relationship about which Swift hasn't allegedly penned a scathing breakup song.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like
- What the collapse of the Ming Dynasty can tell us about American decline
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
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- 7 ways to be the most interesting person in any room
- Why is American internet so slow?
- What would a U.S.-China war look like?
- Why is it so expensive to build a bridge in America?
- The worrying rise of the anti-vaccination movement
- Who are the real gay marriage bigots?
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