Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: A study by CareerBuilder found that 69 percent of fulltime workers routinely search for a better job. We asked you to provide one sentence, uttered by a boss, that would accelerate their search.
THE WINNER: There will be no workforce reduction as a result of the merger.
Janalee Sneva, Scottsdale, AZ
SECOND PLACE: I have to go offsite for a meeting with senior management.
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA
THIRD PLACE: How well do you speak Chinese?
Tony Mazzaccaro, Princess Anne, MD
Got a minute?
Bijan Gorji, Lakewood Ranch, FL
Have a seat and close the door.
Robin Franck, Coronado, CA
There will be an all-employee meeting at 4 o'clock.
Jim Berry, Baraboo, WI
Let's see if all your stuff could fit in one box.
Carlo Fuentes, San Pedro, CA
You're here as long as this company is making a profit.
Doris Arnold, Apple Valley, MN
How would you feel about a pay cut?
Stan Horowitz, Los Angeles, CA
Don't worry about the rumors, your job here is safe.
Andrew McFarland, Austin, TX
We're too big too fail.
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA
The Christmas party this year will be a potluck in the break room.
Barb Himmel, Mineral, VA
I found your resume in the fax machine.
Harry Lewis, Duluth, GA
You misspelled "loyal."
Michele Rebensdorf, Elk Grove, CA
I have a dream…and you're not in it.
RJ Maass, Sioux Falls, SD
Bring me some binders full of women.
Jason Kelinske, Houston, TX
My son is graduating this month.
Jay Sussell, Tehachapi, CA
When you're on your lunch hour, find me some crack.
Elaine Pendley, Bloomington, IN
If the police show up, you've never heard of me.
KT Woodward, Reading, PA
You've probably been wondering about all the correspondence from the IRS lately?
Anna Buresh, Hale, MI
Diane Ugelow, Jericho, NY
How long have you been with this company, not counting tomorrow?
Jim Bownes, Mabank, TX
Think of it as an environmentally responsible cubicle that just happened to once contain a refrigerator.
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA
Does the new guy know how to do everything?
Ryan F. Carron-Smith, Clawson, MI
Dibs on your chair!
Mike Murphy, Medway, MA
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THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- Why you probably don't have Ebola — even if you shook hands with America's 'patient zero'
- Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert are accidentally having a serious debate on ISIS
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- Why the Chinese military is only a paper dragon
- 10 things you need to know today: October 1, 2014
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