Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week’s contest: A marble wall at the CIA's headquarters in Langley, Va. is engraved with a quote from the Gospels: “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.’’ Given recent revelations concerning now-former CIA Chief David Petraeus, we asked you to create a new motto for the place.
THE WINNER: Abandon hope, all ye who enter her.
Jim Mobley, Brighton, MI
SECOND PLACE: Eyes open. Lips sealed. Zippers up.
Iavn Kershner, Salem, NC
THIRD PLACE: Let not the privates determine the fate of the generals.
Allan H. Gross, Carmel, IN
You shall know the truth…and keep it from Congress for a few months.
Ted Beidler, Nashville, TN
Loose hips sink ships.
Kevin Wrede, Portland, OR
Thou shalt keep it in thy pants.
Barry Frank, Astoria, NY
Here lie tales from the unencrypted.
Donna Lepley, Tucson, AZ
You shall know the truth and oy vey—what mess!
Barry Cutler, Palm Desert, CA
If the undercover van is rockin’…
Daniel Burstein, Jacksonville, FL
Always loyal to President Johnson.
Angela James, Westminster, MD
Duty calls, but booty emails.
David Hall, Pitttsfield, MA
Thou shall not commit e-dultery.
Julio Suarez, Plano, TX
Thou shall not betraeus.
Julie May, Malibu, CA
We go undercover.
Larry Emsweller, Munster, IN
Think outside the pants.
Charles & Mary Parry, Catonsville, MD
Richard Creason, New Cumberland, PA
Always live with your biographer in mind.
Larry Keys, Atlanta, GA
Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall…ahhh, never mind.
Paul Binder, Bellevue, WA
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you flee.
David Mossman, Austin, TX
Ye shall know thine computer’s privacy settings for they shall keep you out of trouble.
Michael Slawski, Fairfax, VA
Don’t even think about it.
Alan Parven, Commerce Twp, MI
Big Brother is watching!
Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, WI
Our Mission: Keeping the nation’s affairs secret.
Thom Thacker, Irvington, NY
CIA: Commit Intelligent Adultery
Ann Ponce, Chicago, IL
The downfall of many great men is preceded by the downfall of their pants.
Jacki Davidson, Santa Fe, NM
Hell hath no fury like a Congress scorned.
Holly Flowers, Palermo, ME
No sex on company time or furniture.
J. Craig Hill, Johns Creek, GA
William E. Dunning, Santa Fe, NM
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Diagnosing the Home Alone burglars' injuries: A professional weighs in
- How I lost all my money
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How academia's liberal bias is killing social science
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Ismail Kadare's 6 favorite books
- Why Pakistan won't hunt down the terrorists within its borders
- 10 things you need to know today: December 21, 2014
- Are there dogs in heaven? Let's hope not.
- George W. Bush 'ran the country like a cable network,' and other political insights from Chris Rock
Subscribe to the Week