1. Justin Timberlake says new album is 'the best stuff I've ever done'
Don't worry if you weren't impressed by "Suit and Tie," the utterly underwhelming first song from Justin Timberlake's upcoming The 20/20 Experience — because according to Timberlake, the album is the finest work of his career. In an interview with MTV News, Timberlake says that his motto for the album was "Let's just make something that feels genuine from us," which does sound like a better approach than making something un-genuine. "It's the best stuff I've ever done," continues Timberlake — a bold statement from a man who starred in The Love Guru.
2. Kate Upton suffered to bring you the Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover
With her appearance in Sports Illustrated's legendary swimsuit issue, Kate Upton becomes the first model to grace the magazine's cover two years in a row since the '90s — but according to the New York Post, the frigid Antarctic shoot wasn't a walk in the tundra. "When I came back, I was, like, losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down," said Upton on the Today Show. "It was working so hard to keep me warm." It's almost like doing a bikini shoot in sub-zero temperatures is a bad idea.
3. Four-year-old Vivienne Pitt-Jolie earned $3,000 a week for Maleficent role
In these difficult economic times, it's nice to know that talented 4-year-olds can still find high-paying work — though it's not all that surprising that one of those 4-year-olds happens to be the child of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. US Weekly reports that Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, who plays the child version of Princess Aurora in Disney's upcoming Maleficent, earned $3,000 a week for her contributions to the film, with an extra $60 per diem — a necessary bonus, with the skyrocketing cost of apple sauce these days.
4. Justin Bieber releases free song as apology to fans
Justin Bieber and his throngs of Beliebers played out a real-life "Gift of the Magi" on Sunday night when his attempts to offer a livestream of his new music failed because too many people were trying to watch it. But living up to his emphatic promise to make up for the mistake to his fans, Bieber has posted what Contact Music describes, disturbingly, as a "topless apology video," which gives fans their first glimpse at a song called "You Want Me" and also features Bieber's siblings, Jazmyn and Jaxon. In related news, Justin Bieber has siblings named Jazmyn and Jaxon.
5. Taylor Swift says she's never yelled at an ex-boyfriend
Taylor Swift has a bit of a reputation for being rough to ex-boyfriends — which is arguably justified, given that she's written at least a half-dozen scathing songs about them. But in a recent interview, Swift revealed that she saves all of her anger for her music. "I don't think I've ever yelled at an ex-boyfriend. Ever," says Swift at TV Guide. "I'm not a yeller. I'm not a fit-thrower" — though she is, as we recently learned, an openly-mocking-ex-boyfriends-at-awards-shows-er.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Ted Cruz is the new Sarah Palin
- Watch out, China — America is working on dogfighting drones
- How liberals are unwittingly paving the way for the legalization of adult incest
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- 10 things you need to know today: October 1, 2014
- The troubling persistence of eugenicist thought in modern America
- Why the Chinese military is only a paper dragon
- Why America won't have enough money to battle ISIS
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
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