Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: After complaints from parents, a major fortune-cookie maker is removing racy messages such as, "The evening promises romantic interest." Wonton Food now pledges to create messages that "don’t upset a single person." Please come up with a fortune that meets this tough criterion.
THE WINNER: "All your future is ahead of you."
Timothy Ryder, Waukesha, Wis.
SECOND PLACE: "You are perfect in every way (unless you don't want to be)."
Alan Parven, Commerce Township, Mich.
THIRD PLACE: "You’ll get hungry again in about an hour."
Stephanie Sarich, Minnetonka Minn.
Amy Torchinsky, Greensboro, N.C.
"You will meet someone...somewhere...sometime."
Harriet Jordan, Knoxville
"Today has occurred, thus far."
Jack Tenold, Spokane, Wash.
"You have the ability to read a fortune cookie message."
Joanne Sullivan, Maspeth, N.Y.
"Inspected by #18."
Alan Guttman, Pikesville, Md.
"He/she who seeks, seeks."
Matt Milligan, Charlottesville, Va.
"Fill in the blanks: You will ____________ many ______________."
Cheryl Old, San Diego
"You will soon finish reading this fortune."
Joe Valetti, San Leandro, Calif.
"If you believe in a deity, may he or she favor your undertakings."
Tim Ryan, Baltimore
"Something may, or may not, happen to you, or someone else, sometime."
Jason Prenoveau, Baltimore
"Thank you for reading this fortune."
Ned Bent, Erie, Pa.
"This space intentionally left blank."
Jill Butler, Passaic, N.J.
"You will meet someone, go somewhere, or do something."
Karyn Olschesky, Dallas
"Share your happiness with others, unless they indicate that they would rather you didn’t."
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, N.Y.
"Your dreams will come true, but only if you want them to, and even then, you can change your mind."
Lori DiGuardi, Media, Pa.
"If you are reading this message, you have successfully opened up a fortune cookie!"
Nan Ye, Milo, Maine
"If at first you don’t succeed, it’s OK."
Douglas Ray, Boca Raton, Fla.
"You will have a _______ day."
Jim Rocco, Venetia, Pa.
"Your future will involve events that happen after this moment."
Kristen Kansiewicz, Lynn, Mass.
"You are special and unique, just like everyone else."
Barbara Harman, Concord, Calif.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- How a degree from Duke University dashed my dreams of buying a home
- This is why you can't trust the NSA. Ever.
- Half the world's population lives in these 6 countries
- Innocent before proven guilty? The bizarre bipartisan rush to clear Rick Perry
- Why you should stop believing in evolution
- ISIS and the echoes of the West's religious terror
- 10 things you need to know today: August 22, 2014
- It's time for the police to rethink 'shoot-to-kill'
- Don't listen to Paul Ryan: The GOP is still the party of makers and takers
- 4 things NASA can teach you about a good night's sleep
Subscribe to the Week