Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.
Last week's question: After complaints from parents, a major fortune-cookie maker is removing racy messages such as, "The evening promises romantic interest." Wonton Food now pledges to create messages that "don’t upset a single person." Please come up with a fortune that meets this tough criterion.
THE WINNER: "All your future is ahead of you."
Timothy Ryder, Waukesha, Wis.
SECOND PLACE: "You are perfect in every way (unless you don't want to be)."
Alan Parven, Commerce Township, Mich.
THIRD PLACE: "You’ll get hungry again in about an hour."
Stephanie Sarich, Minnetonka Minn.
Amy Torchinsky, Greensboro, N.C.
"You will meet someone...somewhere...sometime."
Harriet Jordan, Knoxville
"Today has occurred, thus far."
Jack Tenold, Spokane, Wash.
"You have the ability to read a fortune cookie message."
Joanne Sullivan, Maspeth, N.Y.
"Inspected by #18."
Alan Guttman, Pikesville, Md.
"He/she who seeks, seeks."
Matt Milligan, Charlottesville, Va.
"Fill in the blanks: You will ____________ many ______________."
Cheryl Old, San Diego
"You will soon finish reading this fortune."
Joe Valetti, San Leandro, Calif.
"If you believe in a deity, may he or she favor your undertakings."
Tim Ryan, Baltimore
"Something may, or may not, happen to you, or someone else, sometime."
Jason Prenoveau, Baltimore
"Thank you for reading this fortune."
Ned Bent, Erie, Pa.
"This space intentionally left blank."
Jill Butler, Passaic, N.J.
"You will meet someone, go somewhere, or do something."
Karyn Olschesky, Dallas
"Share your happiness with others, unless they indicate that they would rather you didn’t."
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, N.Y.
"Your dreams will come true, but only if you want them to, and even then, you can change your mind."
Lori DiGuardi, Media, Pa.
"If you are reading this message, you have successfully opened up a fortune cookie!"
Nan Ye, Milo, Maine
"If at first you don’t succeed, it’s OK."
Douglas Ray, Boca Raton, Fla.
"You will have a _______ day."
Jim Rocco, Venetia, Pa.
"Your future will involve events that happen after this moment."
Kristen Kansiewicz, Lynn, Mass.
"You are special and unique, just like everyone else."
Barbara Harman, Concord, Calif.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- After Ferguson: Stop deferring to the cops
- The hilarious hypocrisy of Republicans complaining about the imperial presidency
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Ferguson riots were terrible — but this racist reaction was worse
- Don't argue about politics this Thanksgiving. Just don't.
- In Ferguson, Michael Brown lost his life — and America's police lost the benefit of the doubt
- Is it now OK to have sex with animals?
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- How to survive a spaceship disaster
- The slippery slope of Twitter's attempts to stop harassment against women
Subscribe to the Week