1. Harry Styles has a crush on Jennifer Lawrence
Celebrities — they're just like us! According to MTV News, One Direction's Harry Styles has joined every other 18- to 34-year-old man in the world by developing a crush on Silver Linings Playbook star Jennifer Lawrence. "He fell in love with Jennifer after watching her speech at the Oscars," confides a source," adding that Styles, a gentleman of the highest order, "thinks it's hilarious that she fell over as she went to accept her award for Best Actress." Our advice, Jennifer: Watch out for Taylor Swift.
2. Jennifer Lawrence spends all her time setting up dates for Bradley Cooper
Jennifer Lawrence won't have time to date Harry Styles or anyone else if she keeps spending all her time on her new favorite hobby: Fixing Bradley Cooper up with her friends. "Bradley, he's my brother," says Lawrence, retroactively making Silver Linings Playbook one of the creepiest movies of all time. "I feel like all I've been doing lately is setting him up." Unfortunately, Lawrence's meddling has yet to be successful — but then again, it must be hard to get dates when you're an Oscar-nominated, French-speaking winner of People's Sexiest Man Alive contest.
3. You can buy Kanye West's bachelor pad
If you happen to have $3.3 million burning a hole in your pocket, you're in luck: Kanye West has just put his 3-bedroom, 4-bathroom bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills up for sale as he prepares to move into a new Bel Air Mansion with Kim Kardashian. Prospective buyers can check out pictures of the Hollywood Hills home at TMZ, including a living room that contains at least four massive paintings of characters from The Jetsons and a large pile of what appear to be stuffed animals. (None of that is a joke.)
4. Josh Duhamel talks to Fergie's stomach
The spawn of Josh Duhamel and Fergie continues to reside in the safe confines of the singer's lovely baby bump — but that hasn't stopped Duhamel from attempting to make contact with it. "I've had full conversations with the baby already," confides Duhamel at People, which somehow failed to ask him how the baby manages to talk back. (We're picturing something like Kuato in Total Recall.)
5. Happy birthday, Justin Bieber
And speaking of celebrity babies, it's the holiest of holy days on the tween calendar: The birthday of beloved pop idol Justin Bieber, who turns 19 today. (They grow up so fast!) TMZ reports that Bieber celebrated his birthday in characteristic fashion by walking shirtless down the streets of London in ill-fitting pants. We gossip columnists owe Bieber a lot, with his uncanny knack for his ability to do unintentionally hilarious things for us to write about on a near-constant basis. Happy Biebday, Justin, and many more.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- What is Molly? Everything you need to know about the party drug
- America created the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria? Meet the ISIS 'truthers'
- How American businessmen are ruining American business — and the U.S. economy
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- The Obama era is over. The presidency continues.
- Russia's giant spy ship was a high-tech disaster waiting to happen
- On ISIS, neocons and liberal hawks have a 'boy who cried wolf' problem
- How Harry Houdini escaped death
- 10 things you need to know today: September 2, 2014
- Why you should stop believing in evolution
Subscribe to the Week