1. Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby will open Cannes this year
Director Baz Luhrmann has come a long way to reach the blue lawns of Cannes — where E! Online reports that his new, Leonardo DiCaprio-led adaptation of The Great Gatsby will premiere on May 15. Luhrmann's dream of a standing ovation must seem so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it.
Luhrmann believes in his $127 million adaptation of The Great Gatsby, the box-office glory that year by year recedes before us. It eluded him last Christmas, when the film was originally supposed to hit theaters, but that's no matter — on May 15, Cannes attendees will buy large popcorns, they will put on 3D glasses — and after one fine screening —
So we watch on, feet against the sticky theater floor, borne back ceaselessly into yet another theater playing an adaptation of The Great Gatsby.
2. That Justin Timberlake/Kanye West feud is already over
This week's minimum quota of celebrity feuds was supposed to be filled by Justin Timberlake and Kanye West — but MTV News reports that Justin Timberlake prematurely ended the beef, which began when Kanye took a shot at Timberlake's single "Suit & Tie" at a show in London. "You know, really, everyone, keep calm," said Timberlake on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on Monday. "Let me just, for the record... I absolutely love Kanye. So there's that." With that situation apparently resolved, we can all start looking for the next trumped-up celebrity feud to jump on.
3. Disney is preparing a dark reboot of Beauty and the Beast
The success of a seemingly endless string of fairy tale adaptations has prompted Disney to revisit classic fairy tale Beauty and the Beast — and surprise, surprise, they want to make it darker this time! Slashfilm reports that writer Joe Ahearne is in talks to write a dark reimagining of the story called The Beast, which will "likely be in 3D," because those are decisions we make before there's even a screenplay now. Though the film hasn't been cast, this news will surely be exciting to all the fans who feel that the other two recent darker reimaginings of Beauty and the Beast just weren't enough.
4. Kris Humphries' aunt and uncle think Kardashian marriage was 'a sham'
Bad news for any starry-eyed dreamers that were still hoping Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries can put aside their differences and save their marriage: Humphries' aunt Dedria and uncle Mike have finally weighed in on the union, declaring the 72-day marriage "a sham." "She is impeccably groomed but it is a facade," adds Dedria at The Sun, making a claim that is sure to be shocking to anyone who's never picked up a tabloid before.
5. Mark-Paul Gosselaar is going to be a dad again
Zack Morris is having a baby. Entertainment Weekly reports that actor Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who you probably know from his leading role on Saved by the Bell — and not from his current leading role on TNT's Franklin & Bash — is expecting his first child with wife Catriona McGinn. Gosselaar reports that his two children from a previous marriage "are asking a lot of funny questions right now" — like, we presume, "why is Daddy's cell phone so huge?"
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- How academia's liberal bias is killing social science
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why Pakistan won't hunt down the terrorists within its borders
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- Pope Francis' American problem
- Sorry, GOP, tax cuts don't pay for themselves
- Vox, derp, and the intellectual stagnation of the left
- Diagnosing the Home Alone burglars' injuries: A professional weighs in
- A brief history of the Christmas present
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