1. Emma Watson will star in the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, according to hackers
Is Hermione Granger trading in her Hogwarts robe for S&M chains? According to The Hollywood Reporter, hacker collective Anonymous broke into the internal files of German film studio Constantin Film, allegedly uncovering data that revealed Watson has officially signed on to star as Anastasia Steele in the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey adaptation. Of course, anything from a group of masked hackers should be taken with a pretty big grain of salt... Nonetheless, there's still no word on who will co-star as the handsome, mysterious bondage master Christian Grey — so for now let's just stick with the Harry Potter theme and predict Rupert Grint.
2. Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman call off their divorce
Good news, everybody: True love does exist! Radar Online reports that longtime celebrity couple Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman, who announced in October 2012 that they were splitting up after more than 30 years of marriage, have reconciled. "Danny has been moving heaven and earth to win Rhea back — and it has worked," says a source, adding that despite their rough patch, DeVito and Perlman are "the perfect couple" (as if we needed any convincing).
3. Matt Lauer might replace Alex Trebek on Jeopardy!
A: Replacing Alex Trebeck with Matt Lauer. Q: What is a terrible idea? According to the New York Post, Sony Pictures Television has started planning for 73-year-old Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek's inevitable retirement by coming up with a list of a possible replacements — and Today host Lauer is currently at the top. The purported list of top-tier contenders reportedly includes Anderson Cooper, but somehow does not include Ken Jennings, even though he's obviously the best choice for the job.
4. Judge Judy is being sued
Your daily dose of schadenfreude: Daytime TV staple Judge Judy, who you've probably seen on screen only when you're sick in bed at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday, has been hit with a lawsuit. TMZ reports that she's being sued by Patric Jones, the ex-wife of Judge Judy producer Randy Douthit, who alleges that Douthit sold more than $500,000 worth of fine china to Judge Judy for just $50,000 in a scheme to get "revenge aginst her" during the divorce. "If this 50-year-old woman would spend her time more productively at trying to find a job instead of abusing the judicial system with frivolous lawsuits, we would all be a lot better off," said Judge Judy, without any apparent irony.
5. Britney Spears spotted walking with man in public
BREAKING: Britney Spears was spotted walking around with David Lucado, a man she knows — so maybe they're dating, or whatever. "New romance or just friends?" asks People, despite its utter inability to answer that question. However, the magazine did score an eyewitness source. "David drove Britney around and she looked very happy," reports the source, adding that Spears and Lucado "were not very affectionate during lunch, but Britney seemed very giddy." So feel free to read way too much into that, if you're so inclined.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Watch out, China — America is working on dogfighting drones
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How liberals are unwittingly paving the way for the legalization of adult incest
- Why the Chinese military is only a paper dragon
- Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert are accidentally having a serious debate on ISIS
- How the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover revealed the worst of both shows
- How our botched understanding of 'science' ruins everything
- Why America won't have enough money to battle ISIS
- The troubling persistence of eugenicist thought in modern America
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