1. Adele is allegedly planning a "secret wedding"
Like that annoying friend who accidentally RSVPs to a surprise party, Us Weekly recently revealed that Adele and boyfriend Simon Konecki are planning a "secret wedding," thereby defeating the purpose of a secret wedding. "She's been planning it for a while and is very involved," says a source, adding that the wedding is likely to happen at the couple's Brighton home "in the summer or the fall" of 2013. Unless, of course, this is all an elaborate scheme to divert attention from their real secret wedding, which will happen at a place and time that even unnamed Us Weekly sources can't imagine.
2. Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting
Over the past couple of years, you haven't been able to throw a rock in a theater without hitting a Ryan Gosling movie, which has led some to criticize the actor as overexposed. But there's no one more eager for Ryan Gosling to stop making so many movies than Ryan Gosling. "I've been doing it too much. I've lost perspective on what I'm doing," Gosling told the Associated Press. "I think it's good for me to take a break and reassess why I'm doing it and how I'm doing it." Disappointed Gosling fans are advised to comfort themselves by watching The Notebook for the 28th time.
3. Transformers 4 sounds a lot like Transformers 1-3
Michael Bay has been surprisingly tight-lipped about the upcoming Transformers film, presumably out of the misconception that people see his movies for their intricate stories, and not just to watch robots go boom. But according to Yahoo! News, a plot synopsis for Transformers 4 has leaked — and surprise, surprise, it sounds pretty much identical to Transformers 1, 2, and 3. The report alleges that Transformers 4 will be an "epic adventure and battle between good and evil," in which the world can only be saved by the fanciest robot-cars that product placement can buy.
4. Rebel Wilson says Zac Efron is "a really good freestyle rapper"
Despite his best efforts to erase his squeaky-clean Disney Channel image by letting Nicole Kidman pee on him, Zac Efron is still best known as the star of High School Musical. But according to Rebel Wilson, the young actor has another hidden talent. In a recent interview with BuzzFeed, Wilson revealed that Zac Efron is "a really good freestyle rapper." "He could go in and battle," says Wilson. "Like, I'm not exaggerating. He must practice." Could High School Rap Battles be far behind?
5. Snooki and JWoww drank some breast milk shots
Today, in things you probably don't need to know: On a recent episode of MTV's bottom-scraping reality series Snooki & JWoww, the titular reality stars traded in their customary Jager Bombs and tequila shots for a new kind of swill: Snooki's breast milk. In footage available at Gossip Cop, one costar who samples Snooki's breast milk reports that it's "clumpy, and like chugging mashed potatoes." So enjoy never being able to forget that information.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- Is it now OK to have sex with animals?
- In Ferguson, Michael Brown lost his life — and America's police lost the benefit of the doubt
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- In defense of Gwyneth Paltrow
- Republicans love this new health care plan. Too bad it's basically a tax cut for the rich.
- Alien conspiracy theorists think the government is on the verge of spilling big secrets
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- After Ferguson: Stop deferring to the cops
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