elcome to "What Next?", The Week's contest about current events.
Last week's contest: A Florida homeowners association has decided to protect kids by banning ball-playing, bicycles, and skateboards on the complex's roads and common grounds. What is the next step the association should take to shield kids from all possible harm?
THE WINNER: Keep them in the womb until they're 18
Ethan Furman, Los Angeles
SECOND PLACE: No running with or without scissors
Rich Herbst, West Chester, Pa.
THIRD PLACE: Lock up all the adults
Margaret Lee, Sioux Falls, S.D.
Install rubber floors
David Horesh, Overland Park, Kan.
Require all kids to wear helmets even when walking
Ken Kellam III, Dallas
No hoodies allowed
S. Joseph Fior, Santa Barbara, Calif.
Provide contraceptives to all adults in the community
Ty Fedak, Tempe, Ariz.
Mandatory bubble-wrap jumpsuits
Alan Parven, Commerce Township,Mich.
Stop the earth from turning
Ken Meier, Tonopah, Nev.
Replace birthday cake candles with iPad candle app
Angela James, Westminster, Md.
Provide school uniforms made from Nerf
Noah Kopp, Lake Mills, Wis.
Give them all guns
Charles Huber, Gettysburg, Pa.
All embryos must be cryogenically frozen, as gestation and birth pose certain untenable risks
Deborah Rose, St. Louis
Require helium-inflatable skivvies for sinkhole escapes
Mike Zeaman, Reno, Nev.
Lock them up and throw away the key
Kathy Holstrom, Oak Hill, Va.
Jeffry O'Connor, Palm Desert, Calif.
Post speed limit on the park slides
Wesley Jung, Aliso Viejo, Calif.
Safety nets under all trees
Jere Hinkle, Grass Lake, Mich.
Don't let them eat the meatloaf at the neighbors' house
Woody Salkin, Carmel, Calif.
Require homeschooling while wearing body armor
Francis J. Calverase, St. Thomas, Pa.
Dave Rous, Duluth, Minn.
Mandatory OSHA training in order to use playgrounds
Brian McFadden, Lubbock, Texas
Ban TVs, computers, double-decker hamburgers, soda pop, and doting grandparents
Middleton Train, Fort Washington, Pa.
Replace jungle gyms with reading circles
Beth Simon, Oakland
Separate them from their parents at birth
William L. Dok, San Jose
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 31 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why atheism doesn't have the upper hand over religion
- 14 wonderful words with no English equivalent
- Why Easter is so important to Christians
- 10 things you need to know today: April 20, 2014
- He said he was leaving. She ignored him.
- Why would a young person today be religious?
- Wounded in Boston, two brothers endure
- There's a number of reasons the grammar of this headline could infuriate you
- Why I'm a pro-life liberal
Subscribe to the Week