1. Justin Bieber is "pissed" that his friends are hanging out with Selena Gomez
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez seem to be splitsville for good, but the Biebs is reportedly still harboring some hard feelings: When his friend King Kevi was recently photographed leaving Gomez's house, Bieber was none too pleased. "Justin was pissed," says a source at Radar Online, adding that Bieber finally called Kevi and said 'Yo, why were you kicking it with her? I thought you and me were homies,'" in what we swear is an actual quote, and not your grandpa doing a lame impression of what he thinks kids sound like these days. Bieber and King Kevi have since made amends, though Bieber is "always suspicious something sexual is going to happen" between Gomez and one of his friends. Remind us: Why doesn't Gomez want to date him again?
2. Alec Baldwin might get his own NBC late night show
30 Rock may be over, but NBC just can't get enough of Alec Baldwin. According to Deadline, the network is in early talks to bring Baldwin in for a talk show designed to take the place of Last Call With Carson Daly, which has somehow been on the air for 12 seasons without anyone knowing it. The report adds that Baldwin's hypothetical show would air at 1:35 a.m., so in case the show actually makes it to air, prepare yourselves to forget that Baldwin's show exists, too.
3. No, Kate Upton and Diddy aren't dating
On Wednesday afternoon, a slew of media outlets dutifully parroted the news that supermodel Kate Upton was dating rap mogul Diddy, after some anonymous source claimed to have seen the pair making out in a New York restaurant. But despite that seemingly airtight story, TMZ reports that Diddy has taken to Twitter to emphatically claim that the reports are false. "Attn all media. I don't even know Kate Upton personally! I'm not dating her! What's being reported is not true. END of story!" tweeted Diddy, in welcome news for any geeky teenagers still looking for a prom date.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger/Sylvester Stallone movie to hit theaters in September
From revivals of Rocky and Rambo to the Expendables movies, Sylvester Stallone has built an entire second career on exploiting the nostalgia of moviegoers susceptible to the particularly brainless style of action movie that he popularized in the 1980s and 1990s. And rather than mess with success, Stallone is doubling down by teaming up with fellow aging action star Arnold Schwarzenegger for Escape Plan, which is due to hit theaters in September. Entertainment Weekly reports that Stallone will play "a brilliant prison architect," presumably because he couldn't find a way to shoehorn a rocket scientist character into the story.
5. Mayor Danny Jones is happy that MTV's Buckwild has been canceled
It may have taken the tragic death of cast member Shain Gandee, but MTV's reality series Buckwild has been canceled — and Mayor Danny Jones, who presides over the West Virginia town where the show was filmed, isn't exactly disappointed about it. In an interview with TMZ, Mayor Jones said, "I'm relieved and happy the show is canceled, and so is everyone around here. The show does nothing for us and exaggerates every negative stereotype about us." The article goes on to say that Buckwild without Shain Gandee would be "like biscuits without gravy," which should do wonders for those stereotypes Mayor Jones is talking about.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Who are the real gay marriage bigots?
- Why is American internet so slow?
- Don't worry: World War III will almost certainly never happen
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
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- What the collapse of the Ming Dynasty can tell us about American decline
- 10 things you need to know today: March 7, 2014
- Watch The Daily Show mock Fox News' confused man-crush on Vladimir Putin
- The Daily Show explains Hamid Karzai's 'Afghan Hustle'
- 4 life hacks from ancient philosophers that will make you happier
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