1. Justin Bieber hopes Anne Frank would have been a Belieber
In a characteristic demonstration of the tact and thoughtfulness for which he's become so well-known, pop star Justin Bieber found a way to turn his visit to Amsterdam's Anne Frank House into an excuse to talk about how great he is. CNN reports that upon leaving the historic site, Bieber signed the guest book, "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber." Though Frank's diary does make reference to crushes she had on boys, it's safe to assume that she would have been too busy hiding from Nazi persecution for two years to spare much thought for the Biebs — but then again, "Baby" is pretty catchy.
2. Aubrey Plaza pulled an annoying marketing stunt at the MTV Movie Awards
What do Aubrey Plaza and Kanye West have in common? A penchant for grabbing headlines by rushing the stage at irritating awards shows. While Will Ferrell accepted an award for "Comedic Genius" at Sunday's MTV Movie Awards, Plaza rushed the stage with #TheToDoList (the title of her upcoming movie) written on her chest in magic marker, in a naked and cloying attempt at publicity — and, as it turns out, an effective one, since we're all talking about it. MTV News reports that shortly thereafter, Plaza was escorted out of the ceremony by security guards, missing the rest of the ceremony and proving that some bad deeds actually get rewarded.
3. Fifty Shades of Grey is less offensive than Captain Underpants
The American Library Association has released its annual list of books challenged most by "parents, educators, and other members of the public" — and the bondage-themed Fifty Shades of Grey somehow landed behind an underwear-clad superhero aimed at elementary school children. According to the Associated Press, E.L. James' "mommy porn" trilogy only represented the fourth most-challenged books of the year — far behind Dav Pilkey's long-running Captain Underpants saga, as well as Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian and Jay Asher's 13 Reasons Why. The annual most-challenged books list is probably the only time you'll see Fifty Shades of Grey and Captain Underpants in the same article this year, unless E.L. James and Dav Pilkey decide to cut their losses and collaborate on a crossover.
4. Jessica Simpson had a Tom Sawyer-themed baby shower
More than a century after The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was first published, the character has been given a platform Mark Twain could only have dreamed of: A splashy, expensive celebrity baby shower. According to People, Jessica Simpson recently celebrated her pregnancy by throwing "a Tom Sawyer-themed affair, complete with vintage tables, tin pitchers, and a wooden boat alongside the nearby pond." Simpson's unusual choice of party theme opens up a whole new world of potential classic literature-themed parties for wealthy, bored celebrities to throw. (We humbly suggest a Lord of the Flies-themed "Baby's First Christmas.")
5. PSY covered Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies"
How do you possibly follow up an insanely catchy, utterly inescapable song like "Gangnam Style"? By covering someone else's insanely catchy, utterly inescapable song. At a recent concert in South Korea, The Daily Mail reports that "fans went crazy" when "Gangnam Style" singer PSY launched into a cover of Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies," though it's not clear from the story if "went crazy" means "got excited" or "desperately tried to escape the concert before it was too late." The article adds that PSY performed the song while "dressed in a skintight red leotard," which masochists can view for themselves at The Daily Mail.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 31 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why I'm a pro-life liberal
- He said he was leaving. She ignored him.
- Why we can't stop procrastinating, according to science
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- If a nuclear bomb exploded in downtown Washington, what should you do?
- How Ukraine can fend off the Russians, in 7 simple steps
- These stunning travel photos remind us that we're all just amateurs with iPhones
- 7 ways to quickly become a master at anything
Subscribe to the Week