1. Sylvester Stallone is bringing a Rocky musical to Broadway
Because six movies somehow weren't enough to tell the story of a humble Italian-American boxer who goes the distance, Sylvester Stallone is taking Rocky Balboa to a place he's never been before: Broadway. According to E! Online, Sly is working on bringing a German production of a Rocky musical, which includes reworked versions of songs like "Gonna Fly Now" and "Eye of the Tiger," to the United States as soon as February 2013. With Stallone essentially rebuilding his career on the backs of previous successes like Rambo and Rocky, fans can cross their fingers for the next Stallone property to be resurrected for the next generation. (We humbly suggest Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.)
2. Yes, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are probably back together
Ah, Spring, when a young Biebs' fancy turns to love. According to BuzzFeed, the Canadian pop star took to Instagram over the weekend to post a picture of himself and on-again/off-again love interest Selena Gomez with the caption, "'You've been makin music for too long babe come cuddle' – her." Though Beliebers will presumably be devastated to learn that their would-be lothario is once again off the market, they can take comfort in the fact that the Instagram entry features Bieber doing all of his favorite things: Working on music, sitting around shirtless, and writing poorly punctuated social media messages.
3. Leonardo DiCaprio says he's nothing like Jay Gatsby
Director Baz Luhrmann's decidedly unconventional take on The Great Gatsby is just a few weeks away, with Leonardo DiCaprio set to star. But according to DiCaprio, the fabulous, glamorous life of Jay Gatsby bears little resemblance to his own fabulous, glamorous life. "[My life] is not like that all the time, nope. Not even close," says DiCaprio in an interview with Access Hollywood. When the interview was over, DiCaprio presumably returned to his distinctly unglamorous life of jet-setting, movie premieres, and dating beautiful models.
4. Robert De Niro has very specific cocktail demands
Bartenders: If you're ever asked to make a drink for Robert De Niro, make sure you have some time to study first. According to the New York Post, the staff at a Tribeca restaurant where De Niro was expected to appear on Thursday was given a full page of instructions for making the actor's favorite kind of gin martini, which included helpful tips like "SHAKE like crazy" and "no vermouth needed." But alas, after all that preparation, De Niro never actually showed up for the party — presumably because he couldn't figure out whether or not the party's organizers were talkin' to him.
5. You can now hear the rest of Ray J's gross Kim Kardashian song
In the weeks leading up to the release of his insufferable new song "I Hit It First," Ray J has repeatedly insisted that the lyrics don't refer to his former girlfriend and sex tape partner Kim Kardashian, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary. And now that the full song has finally been released, fans can judge for themselves. "If you were to come back to me girl, we'll make another movie," promises Ray J — which isn't surprising, given that that's pretty much the only way he can get anyone to talk about him anymore. Anyone who wants to have a sleazy, incredibly irritating song stuck in their head for the rest of the day can listen to "I Hit It First" for themselves at TMZ.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- After Ferguson: Stop deferring to the cops
- How to adopt the perfect rescue dog
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Why the poor can't catch a break on Thanksgiving
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Is it now OK to have sex with animals?
- Ferguson riots were terrible — but this racist reaction was worse
- The lessons of Japan's latest recession
- The hilarious hypocrisy of Republicans complaining about the imperial presidency
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
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