If you've ever woken up in a cold sweat longing for the warm, familiar ambrosia stored in your mother's teat, we've got some good news for you: An Austin-based candy-maker called Lollyphile is now selling breast milk–flavored lollipops for adventurous adults looking to indulge their oral fixations.
The lollipops don't actually contain any breast milk — they're vegan and mostly made of sugar — but were created by taste-testing real breast milk generously donated by four new moms. "Can you imagine armies of pumping mothers?" Lollyphile founder Jason Darling says in an interview with the Los Angeles Times. "Managing that would be a logistical nightmare."
As for what these Oedipal confections actually taste like, the flavor is "sort of like almond milk," says Darling, "but sweeter." Since debuting the pops on the Lollyphile website on Monday, the company says it has already sold a few thousand treats.
But maybe we shouldn't be too surprised by the candy's overnight success. After all, there are already communities online solely devoted to developing recipes from nutrient-dense, human lactate — everything from cheese to strawberry buttercream cupcakes.
"These lollipops won't bring back childhood memory," write the lollipop's creators at their website. But they are "quite possibly the most inherently satisfying flavor of all time."
Give the breast milk–flavored pops a try here.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Here comes the Pentagon's newest space plane
- The real story behind Deliver Us From Evil
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Extreme haunted houses: Inside Halloween's most terrifying new trend
- Everything you need to know about the voter ID controversy
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- 3 horrific inaccuracies in Homeland's depiction of Islamabad
- How 1,000-year lifespans could remake the economy
- 10 things you need to know today: October 25, 2014
Subscribe to the Week