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The Week contest - Shorts story
What's next in the fight against oppression of men?
Nice stems, gentlemen!
Nice stems, gentlemen! CC BY: istolethetv
W

elcome to "What Next?", The Week's contest about current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Parental fines

Last week's question: This week's question: Male train workers in Sweden circumvented a ban on wearing shorts by donning skirts instead; a spokesman said that men could follow the women's dress code because "to say anything else would be discrimination." What is the next step men should take to free themselves from the shackles of oppression?

Results:

THE WINNER: Leave work at 4:30 to pick up the kids

David McEnerney, Seymour, Conn.

SECOND PLACE: Feel free to cry when angry
Eamon O'Tuama, Astoria, NY

THIRD PLACE: Pull over and ask for directions
Connie Scofield, Glens Falls, NY

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Earn 77 cents for every $1 a woman makes, for the same work
Jennifer Land, Wayne, PA

Demand equal access to lifeboats in a ship disaster
Russell Vestlie, Madison, WI

Burn their neckties
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA

Require women to propose, with football season tickets in extended hand
Ujjal Kohli, Saratoga, CA

Stand at a door until a female comes to open it
Bob Fitzgerald, Seattle, WA

Require women, after they are finished, to put the seat up
David P. Bancroft, San Francisco, CA

Have checkout lines for people without coupons
Bob Peffers, San Antonio, TX

Make "Honey, I ain't doing it!" lists
Ivan Kershner, Salem, SC

Lobby to get sports talk the same respect as book clubs
Christopher Harding, Dorchester, MA

Actually take all of their allotted vacation days
Joe Valetti, San Leandro, CA

Claim water retention as the cause for weight gain
Mark Weaver, Redondo Beach, CA

Join the Girl Scouts and sell cookies in front of the store of their choice
John S. Newman, Central, SC

Have "groom showers" with registries at Best Buy and Home Depot
Susan Secula, Braddock Heights, MD

Pass a male ERA
Richard Dever, Bloomington, IN

Say, "Not tonight honey — I have a headache!" without guilt
Cheryl Feinberg, Farmington Hills, MI

Be responsible for the laundry and getting dinner on the table nightly
Kitty Jackson, Napa, CA

Call in sick during that time of the month
Stacey Dennick, Sebastopol, CA

Feel okay telling their kids, "Just wait till your mother gets home!"
Mark Miller, Los Angeles, CA

Since men already have long hair and wear earrings, no additional steps need to be taken.
Richard Herrick, Johnstown, NY

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