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The QT: The NFL's XXIX arrests, the Walmart-Paula Deen breakup, and more
A veteran journalist, tongue firmly in cheek, riffs on the latest headlines
 
Not even Roman numerals can improve Aaron Hernandez's situation.
Not even Roman numerals can improve Aaron Hernandez's situation. AP Photo/Boston Herald, Ted Fitzgerald

News Headline: "Aaron Hernandez arrest: NFL deals with another blemish to its image"
This has to do with the XXIX arrests of NFL players since Super Bowl XLVII.
VIII were for violent crimes.
The NFL is right. Roman numerals make things look better.

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News Headline: "Rand Paul suggests gay-marriage ruling a step closer to human-animal unions"
News Headline: "Rand Paul walks back talk of cross-species marriage"
Have you tired of all the reality programming on TV?
There is always C-SPAN.

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QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
While there remain no criminal prosecutions of Wall Street executives since the 2008 crash, a California man faces 13 years in jail for writing anti-bank messages in sidewalk chalk near Bank of America branches.

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News Headline: "Wal-Mart ends relationship with Paula Deen"
Win-win.
Haven't both improved themselves?

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+ R.K., a Chicago reader, regarding QT's asking readers to stop playing games with the news that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West had named their baby girl North, writes:
"Did the late Edith Head have any daughters? She could have named one Lucinda."
+ Gene Christianson, an Overland Park, Kan., reader, writes:
"When Honey Boo Boo is old enough to have a baby, should she name it Meta?"
QT will put a stop to this.
It will stop it as surely as a daughter of the late Bill Lear, founder of Learjet, was named Shanda.

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News Headline: "As a beach erodes in the Hamptons, community tensions swell"
To be fair, many find the tensions lousy.

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News Item: "...Norway gained its first saint with the killing of Christian Viking King Olav II at the Battle of Stiklestad..."
That was 983 years ago.
If you can't make it over for this year's commemoration, you can always sing the ancient battle song:

It is our soil on which you step,
You better stay away from us,
Or else you will regret. . . .
Or wait. Isn't that the Tea Party's immigration policy?

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Paul Shubin, a Montreal reader, regarding QT's mention that there is always a "the" in front of the Mahatma Gandhi writes:
"And don't forget The Ohio State University."
There is never a "the" in front of Magna Carta, by the way.

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Write to QT at zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

QT appears Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

 
Zay N. Smith is a Chicago writer. Before starting the QT column he worked at the Chicago Sun-Times as a reporter, foreign correspondent and writer of major features.

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