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The QT: The solution to our Sarah Palin problem, the wanton-wonton mix-up, and more
A veteran journalist, tongue firmly in cheek, riffs on the latest headlines
Sarah Palin may be venturing out on her own.
Sarah Palin may be venturing out on her own. JONATHAN ERNST/Reuters/Corbis

News Headline: "Texas executes 500th prisoner"
And almost all of them were probably guilty.

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QT Digest of Rush Limbaugh's Friday Show:
"...It's the Rush Limbaugh program... None of it's true... There are lies and mistruths and false premises and misstatements... It may just be me... "
Why are some people more fun to quote out of context than others?

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News Headline: "Pollutants rising too fast, report warns"
News Headline: "Habitable planets may be easier to find than previously believed"
Let's keep telling ourselves that.

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News Item: "...more than three-quarters of voters (77 percent) believe the United States would be a better country if we followed the ideas of the Founding Fathers..."
Or put it another way:
Three out of four Americans, at least half of whom, according to polls, can't name the three branches of government, believe — OK, never mind.

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News Headline: "Sarah Palin may leave GOP to form 'Freedom Party' "
News Headline: "Woman accidentally glues lips together"
Everyone is entitled to a few fantasies.

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News Headline: "12 percent of Romney voters think all cats should live in the woods"
Are we running out of poll questions to ask?

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News Item: "...neglect and wonton disregard..."
Some Chinese restaurants are better than others.
News Item: "...bowl of wanton soup is..."
And some should be avoided entirely.

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News Headline: "Nude travelers gear up to take it all off this summer"
In other news, seven days remain until National Nude Recreation Week.
It will begin the day after Congress ends its current vacation recess.
Talk about close calls...

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
J.H., a New York City reader, writes:
"Does anyone out there know that it isn't 'once more into the breach' but 'once more unto the breach'?"
And as long as Shakespeare has come up:
It isn't "gild the lily," but "paint the lily."
And it isn't all that glitters that isn't gold.
It's all that glisters.

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Write to QT at zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

QT appears Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Zay N. Smith is a Chicago writer. Before starting the QT column he worked at the Chicago Sun-Times as a reporter, foreign correspondent and writer of major features.

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