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What 11 celebrities would be if they had the job their name means
The Kardashians would be carving stone, not headlining tabloids
 
The closest Kim Kardashian gets to stone cutting is hemming her bejeweled gowns for the red carpet.
The closest Kim Kardashian gets to stone cutting is hemming her bejeweled gowns for the red carpet. MARIO ANZUONI/Reuters/Corbis

Many surnames are derived from words for occupations. A Baker is a baker, and a Miller is a miller. But the origins of these names are usually a bit more obscure, especially when the occupation of the person is terrible match for the name. Here are what 11 celebrities would be if their jobs matched their names.

1. KIM KARDASHIAN
A stone carver. Or the son of a stone carver in any case. From the Armenian kardash (stone cutter) –ian (son of).

2. KRIS JENNER
An engineer. From Middle English ginnur or genour.

3. TERESA GIUDICE
A judge. From the Italian.

4. ASHTON KUTCHER
A coachman. From the Yiddish or German Kutscher.

5. LEIGHTON MEESTER
A teacher, or maestro. From the Dutch.

6. DIANE KRUGER
An inn-keeper or a potter. From German.

7. NATALIE PORTMAN
A gate keeper.

8. BRADLEY COOPER
A barrel maker.

9. KALEY CUOCO
A cook. From Italian.

10. LIEV SCHREIBER
A clerk or writer. From German

11. JASON BATEMAN
A boatman. From Middle English bate for boat.

 
Arika Okrent is editor-at-large at TheWeek.com and a frequent contributor to Mental Floss. She is the author of In the Land of Invented Languages, a history of the attempt to build a better language. She holds a doctorate in linguistics and a first-level certification in Klingon.

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