On Wednesday, we looked at five groups of people who want New York City mayoral candidate Anthony "Carlos Danger" Weiner to stay in the race. We forgot one big constituency all-but-begging Weiner to hang in there: Late-night comedians. (Jay Leno pleaded with Weiner to not only stay in the race, but win — watch above.)
Combine the last name Weiner and self-taken photos of a penis sent to strange women, and the jokes almost literally write themselves. The late-night comedians almost all point this out. And they uniformly love Weiner's "Carlos Danger" sexting alias on Yahoo. USA Today helpfully rounds up the jokes from Tuesday night's broadcasts (watch above) of Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, and Craig Ferguson's shows.
Due to their early taping schedules, however — or, in Jimmy Fallon's case, the birth of his first child — some of the late-night shows deferred their Weiner-skewering until Wednesday night. With a whole day to work on their material, these shows are generally a little more elaborate, if not always more clever, in their takedowns of the man who is still, as of Wednesday, the leading candidate in New York City's mayoral race.
At The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert works his Weiner bit into his introductory desk chat. On Tuesday, Colbert starts out, "the thinkable happened."
Colbert is brutal, and brutally funny. In a second segment, he imagines life in New York under Mayor Carlos Danger:
Fallon, at NBC's Late Night, also addresses Weinergate Part II in his opening monologue, after announcing the birth of his son and poking a little fun at Honey Boo-Boo (the Weiner part starts at the 0:36 second mark):
John Oliver at The Daily Show promised on Tuesday's show that he would go all-in on Weiner the next night — and he delivered. The whole first half of the show is dedicated to sticking a fork in Carlos Danger — an awesome pseudonym that sounds like a "Bolivian action hero-slash-porn star" — for dragging us through a scandal so shocking... and so predictable. Oliver's takedown comes in two parts:
Part I: "Welcome Back, Cocker" — or the Why Weiner's Funny segment:
Part II: "Despicable Wein 2" — or the Why Weiner Matters (with penis props) segment:
In the grand late-night Weiner roast, Colbert wins, right?
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- The mystery behind China's aggressive push into space
- Here's the schedule very successful people follow every day
- How the battle for religious freedom became a nonsensical free-for-all
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- The best places to find love — and lust — according to science
- 10 things you need to know today: July 30, 2014
- What religious traditionalists can teach us about sex
- Pay yourself first: The habit that can help you build wealth
- Sex can't explain the culture war
- 7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to
Subscribe to the Week