Jon Stewart started out Tuesday night's Daily Show with an easy applause line: Marijuana is now legal in Colorado. He walked his audience through the restrictions — or lack thereof — in the Centennial State's new pot law, declaring that an ounce of hydroponic weed is more than enough for any one toker to have at any given time.
Formalities out of the way, Stewart tucked into the part of the show everyone was waiting for: Making fun of the people making scary pronouncements about legalizing pot. This provided such a rich vein to mine, Stewart, discarding tradition, talked about nothing else for the rest of the non-interview part of the show. His first target: Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and his "Old-Timey Restoration Hour."
In Stewart's turn of phrase, "crank up the grumpalodian":
Stewart got his best line of the night off of O'Reilly's assertion that allowing legal pot is "literally Russian roulette," since some adults can't handle the drug. Oh right, Stewart quipped, "the only difference between a bong hit and pointing a loaded gun at your own skull is that the gun can kill you instantly — and must never be criminalized or restricted in any way, ever. Ever!" The rest of the O'Reilly segment dealt with the Fox News star's bizarre comparison of weed and teenage texting. Yeah, I don't get it either.
O'Reilly dispatched, Stewart briefly mocked New York Times columnist David Brooks for his column arguing that although he smoked pot as a youth, states should ban it now on moral and health grounds:
Stewart ended his tour of reefer madness with warnings from MSNBC's Joe Scarborough and a bevy of Fox News personalities about how pot makes you dumb, sucks away all motivation, is addictive, and is a menace to public safety. Stewart's big message here is that these same talking heads — and TV ads — all-out celebrate alcohol, which is at least as dangerous as pot. He topped off this lecture with a pretty funny stoner take on how pot ads would be so much better than beer commercials — especially if you are high on weed.
As your bonus video, here's Stephen Colbert's much more abbreviated take on the reaction against Colorado's pot law, from Monday night's Colbert Report. In this case, brevity is the soul of wit:
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How our botched understanding of 'science' ruins everything
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- The science of sex: 4 harsh truths about dating and mating
- Obama knows he can't really 'defeat' ISIS. Americans need to wake up to that reality, too.
- Why so many Christians won't back down on gay marriage
- How Scotland's independence movement lost the vote and still won everything
- The American middle class is no longer safe from poverty — and that might be a good thing
Subscribe to the Week