- Watch this March 18
Eager for a glimpse of what Disney has in store for Star Wars: Episode VII? Courtesy of the good people at ABC, we now know what happened to Lando Calrissian after Return of the Jedi: He signed up for a stint on Dancing with the Stars.
In last night's truly excruciating Star Wars-themed dance number, 77-year-old Billy Dee Williams reprised his role as Lando from the Star Wars franchise, dancing alongside a pair of stormtroopers and his partner Emma Slater, who was dressed up like Princess Leia. The dance is enthusiastically cheered on by a couple of Ewoks, whose screechy grunts are translated as, "Hooray! Yay! Yay! Yay! Great Dance, Lando!"
Alas, the judges didn't agree. "I think you've got the wrong character. You played it very dainty, very careful, very C3PO," says judge Bruno Tonioli. "You know what I mean. I want bigger. I want Darth Vader. Bigger! Bigger! More powerful!"
The entire segment seems like it was specifically engineered to horrify and enrage Star Wars fans. (If they'd managed to slip in a Jar Jar Binks reference, this might even be worse than the Star Wars Holiday Special.) But let's look on the bright side — the prequels don't look that bad now, right? --Scott Meslow
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Here comes the Pentagon's newest space plane
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- Extreme haunted houses: Inside Halloween's most terrifying new trend
- The U.S. is about to sell weapons to Vietnam. That's bad news for China.
- What the Middle Ages can tell us about the GOP's big charity myth
- The real story behind Deliver Us From Evil
- 3 horrific inaccuracies in Homeland's depiction of Islamabad
- Gamergate might be gaming sexism's Waterloo
- Did the media get Ferguson wrong?
Subscribe to the Week