I was just thinking the other day how much I really like — no, like and admire — people in their 20s. Seriously. I have heard rumors that my fellow Baby Boomers snipe at Millennials' fixation on "selfies," their "meaningful" tattoos, their relentless need for banal self-expression. But not me. The Instagrams young people swap of their luncheon artisanal tacos? I find them charming. Besides, the Boomer-run world needs young blood. And soon, we may need it in a quite literal sense. Scientists have just discovered that injecting the blood of young mice into old fogey mice rejuvenates the aging critters' brains, hearts, and muscles, giving them the endurance and mental facility of the young mice. If vampiric therapy works with humans, it could lead to a much closer — indeed, symbiotic — relationship between Boomers and Millennials.
Speaking of which, I'd like to take this opportunity to address my two wonderful daughters. I know I've been crotchety at times, and groused about spending $120 on trips to the cosmetics store, the fresh dents and scrapes in the car, and the college tuition costs that now rival the price of a waterfront house. Sorry, but you get grouchier as your brain ages. It need not be this way. In days of yore, children repaid the debt of their birth with long hours of fieldwork or household chores. Since that's no longer the norm, wouldn't you like to show your appreciation to Dad (and Mom, too) by donating a pint or two of blood every now and then? Roll up your sleeves and close your eyes; it won't hurt a bit. Just think: You could continue to get my unwanted criticism and advice for another 50 years.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
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- Britain has basically decriminalized internet piracy. The U.S. should, too.
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