Good week for:
Real Native Americans, after a Utah judge ordered a civil judgment against four men who, declaring themselves Wampanoag Indians, had laid claim to hundreds of “sovereign” acres and refused to obey state or federal law. “A lot of white people are like, ‘I’m Wampanoag,’” said Gayle Andrews, a spokeswoman for the real Wampanoags. “But you can’t just Google yourself into membership.’’
The afterlife, after an Illinois man built himself a coffin to look like a giant can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. Until he needs the casket, Bill Bramanti, 67, is using it as a cooler.
Leering, after a senior aide to French President Nicolas Sarkozy published a guide to Paris neighborhoods that highlights each one’s “feminine specialty.” Pierre-Louis Colin’s Guide to the Pretty Women of Paris notes, for example, that Ménilmontant features “radiant breasts often uncluttered by a bra.”
Bad week for:
Show and tell, after the pilot of an Air France flight from Manchester, U.K., to Paris brought a young boy into the cockpit and started showing off by banking the plane sharply left, and then right. When the pilot realized he’d entered the path of another plane, he abruptly took the aircraft up 10,000 feet, terrifying passengers who were pitched around in their seats. The pilot is under investigation.
Aliases, when a Wisconsin man gave a fake name after police pulled over the car in which he was a passenger. He was forced to admit his lie because he had coincidentally chosen the name of a wanted murderer. The man, who was afraid he would get arrested for some unpaid traffic fines, was charged with obstruction.
Louisiana inmates, after a 400-pound black bear moved into the courtyard of the state penitentiary. “It’s like having another guard at no cost to the taxpayer,” said Warden Burl Cain.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Rise of the machines
- 3 horrific inaccuracies in Homeland's depiction of Islamabad
- Gamergate has backfired spectacularly on its nincompoop perpetrators
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- It's time to kill school picture day
- The uncomfortable truth in The Giving Tree
- 6 things the happiest families all have in common
- Ban PowerPoint!
- Uncle Sam wants you to stay away from these countries
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