Good week for:
Starfish, after the island of Grenada launched a campaign to persuade tourists not to use the marine animals as Frisbees for their dogs.
The timeless humor of Howard Stern, after researchers determined that the oldest recorded joke—dating to 1900 B.C. Sumeria—is, “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: A young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”
Oprah Winfrey, whose endorsement of Barack Obama won him 1,015,000 votes in the Democratic primaries, according to a new study by two University of Maryland economists.
Bad week for:
Skinny-dipping, after German police tried to arrest a man who had snuck into a pool with his buddies for a midnight nude swim. The naked suspect fled straight into a hedge of sharp nettles. “The officers just followed the sound of screaming,” said a police spokesman.
Following the recipe, after British celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson said in a magazine article that “the weed henbane is great in salads.” Thompson later said he had confused henbane with a different plant that does not cause convulsions, vomiting, and death.
Having it your way, after a Florida man called 911 to complain that Subway had left the sauce off his spicy Italian sandwich. He was arrested after calling a second time to complain that police were not responding.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- 10 things you need to know today: September 2, 2014
- What would a U.S.-Russia war look like?
- The Obama era is over. The presidency continues.
- How American businessmen are ruining American business — and the U.S. economy
- Fall movie guide: All the films you should see in September
- Scottish independence is another financial crisis waiting to happen
- The 10 best networking tips for people who hate networking
- America created the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria? Meet the ISIS 'truthers'
- 11 scientific studies that will restore your faith in humanity
- Russia's giant spy ship was a high-tech disaster waiting to happen
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