ood week for:
Breathing, after Virginia, the home state of Philip Morris and the world’s largest cigarette factory, limited smoking in restaurants and bars to separate rooms that have their own ventilation. “Tobacco,” said legislator Joe Johnson, “is on its way out.”
Hens, after a British “free range” chicken farmer urged consumers to buy “medium” eggs instead of the more popular “large” or “very large.” “It can be painful to the hen to lay a larger egg,” said Tom Vesey. “It would be kinder to eat smaller eggs.”
Replenishing the ol’ coffers, as George W. Bush announced he was launching an international speaking tour before a business audience in Calgary, Alberta, on March 17. Bush hopes to give at least 10 speeches this year to make some money.
Bad week for:
Someone at the State Department, after Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presented her Russian counterpart with a button supposedly labeled “reset” in Russian, to signify a new relationship between the two countries. “It’s wrong,” said Sergei Lavrov, noting that the button was labeled “peregruzka,” which means “overcharge,” instead of “perezagruzka,” or “reset.”
Stoner music, when Hampton, Va., police arrested 194 Phish fans and confiscated more than $1 million in illegal drugs during the jam band’s first concert in five years.
Wildlife adventures, after a startled Australian family was awakened by a kangaroo that crashed through a window, jumped up and down on the mom and dad’s bed, and bounced into their terrified 10-year-old son’s room. The dad, 42-year-old Beat Ettlin, put the ’roo in a headlock and wrestled it out the door.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- Why would a young person today be religious?
- 31 TV shows to watch in 2014
- Israel and Russia are getting along. Have the neocons noticed?
- The world's dumbest idea: Taxing solar energy
- Why Good Friday is so important to Christians
- He said he was leaving. She ignored him.
- Why we can't stop procrastinating, according to science
- The 6-year-old who woke up from a coma with a different personality
- Why atheism doesn't have the upper hand over religion
- Why I'm a pro-life liberal
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