Mastering the art of conversation: 7 steps to being smooth
Remember to put others at ease
In The Art of Conversation: A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure, Catherine Blyth gives some great tips on handling the subtle nuances of polite interaction.
Here are seven of my favorite bits:
How To Make Small Talk
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Whatever the context, old friends or new, it is best if speakers respect five principles:
- 1. Put others at ease
- 2. Put yourself at ease
- 3. Weave in all parties
- 4. Establish shared interests
- 5. Actively pursue your own
How To Make A Solid Introduction
Mastering the art of conversation has to start somewhere, so you have to know how to begin. Here's a solid formula:
How We Judge A Successful Conversation
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How To Make A Conversation Progress
If in doubt, the stair to intimacy has four steps:
- 1. Courtesies ("Hello, how are you?")
- 2. Trade information ("So what brought you here?")
- 3. Trade opinion ("Isn't this music unusual?")
- 4. Trade feeling ("Yup, I hate it.")
Pose questions that circle the personal, noting whether the other prefers a sharp or gentle approach, and adapting accordingly. And although small talk aims to please, don't make this too obvious.
Great Conversationalists Listen More Than Talk
To help doctors be better listeners, their responses are graded from 1 to 6 with the "empathic communication coding system."
The higher the number, the better.
Two Powerful Pieces Of Advice
- Hear what people are really saying as opposed to what they are telling you.
- Directness is a privilege of intimacy.
How To End A Conversation
There are a number of phrases that can politely signal the end of a chat.
I would love to continue with this post, but I wouldn't want to keep you.
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